


Escape

by SunshineScorpius



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Albus needs one too, Anxiety, Bullying, Depression, Friends to Lovers, Good Slytherins, Harry's a dick but he gets better, I'm also sorry about Draco, James is hilarious of course, Lily is a godsend, M/M, Musical!Scorpius, Not Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Compliant, Scorpius Needs a Hug, Scorpius is a really lonely kid, Slytherin Albus Severus Potter, Slytherin Scorpius Malfoy, Sort Of, The projection is strong in this one, and then he meets Albus, but no more tagging like this because spoilers, i'm sorry about Rose but she's just horrible
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-05-14 19:39:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 41,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19279819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineScorpius/pseuds/SunshineScorpius
Summary: Scorpius Malfoy liked to keep himself to himself. He was fine on his own with just his headphones and music. Until he’s paired with Albus Potter for Defence Against the Dark Arts tutoring, and Scorpius learns that being alone is nice, but having a friend is nicer.There are plenty of ways one escapes their own mind, their own demons. There’s drugs, running, alcohol and Scorpius Malfoys personal favourite: music.





	1. Lost Boy

**Author's Note:**

> *TRIGGER WARNING* There are some very intense scenes of depression and anxiety throughout this and implied self-harm and suicidal tendencies. I will put extra warnings on each chapters but this is an overall warning. I've put the rating higher for this reason, so just please be careful. Also scenes of bullying and severe loneliness and grief.
> 
> Each chapter is named after a song that either fits into the scene or a song being played in the scene and Scorpius is a brilliant musician.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is named Lost Boy by Ruth B.

_Escapism (noun):_

_the tendency to seek distraction and relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy._

 

* * *

 

 

The soft, gentle melody filled the room, a facile canorous sound dancing from the tips of his fingers to each individual key of the piano shadowing the room in harmony. It vibrated through him, allowing him to get lost in each note as they filled his heart with content symphonies. This was where he felt most content: locked away in a small classroom with just himself, music sheets and a piano.

Hogwarts never did much for those who favoured music over sports or becoming an Auror. Scorpius had no desire to pursue a career within the Ministry, he wanted to feed his passion for the arts. However, he’d soon be disowned should anyone find out, so when his head of house asked him his career path at the end of his fifth year, he told her he wanted to work in the Ministry for Magical Archives department.

Scorpius was painfully aware that dinner was coming to an end, and that he should probably run to grab something before locking himself away behind bed curtains with a _Muffliato_ cast so he could play his guitar in peace, but he was so wrapped up in the quaint melodies that he never let himself care too much. He wasn’t that hungry anyway.

A crashing sound from outside the door, followed by an “ah fuck,” caused Scorpius to stop playing instantly. He never played in front of anybody – only his grandmother when she requested it – and he certainly did not want an audience now. His music was for him and no one else. And it would stay like that for as long as he wanted it to. There was no other sound from the other side, but Scorpius never dared risk it.

Instead, his packed up his things and placed his headphones – that were currently around his neck – over his head, pressing play on his music box. The last song he’d been listening to starting blaring into his ears, drowning out all other noises of the room.

There are plenty methods of escapism that people use. Scorpius had watched many of his classmates use alcohol or drugs when they’re feeling stressed about exams. He’d seen others run for so long and so fast that they nearly pass out, but they were focusing on their breathing rather than their racing thoughts. He’d seen the acting committee lose themselves to different roles, a pleasure in being someone else for a short moment.

Scorpius preferred music. He preferred shutting out the world. There was rarely a time Scorpius Malfoy wasn’t seen without his signature pair of headphones, charmed the colour green to match his robes. They were either on his head blaring music most people had never heard of, or around his neck waiting for their next use. If he was ever on his own, which was all the time because Scorpius had no friends, then he would be lost to a world of guitar riffs and drum solos with elegant lyrics.

He’d also found that people couldn’t bully him when he couldn’t hear them.

When he slipped from the secluded classroom, Scorpius saw no evidence of the previous intruder and quickly forgot he’d been disrupted as his favourite song enveloped his senses.

He walked quickly to the Slytherin’s dorms at a fast pace, ignoring everyone he came into contact with – including his dormmates who were sat around a game of exploding snap in the common room – until he was safe behind the curtains of his bed and with the beautiful melody of his guitar. He cast a _Muffliato_ because Merlin forbid anyone actually hear him. By the time he fell into sleep – in the most awkward position hugging his guitar - his dorm mates had been asleep for hours.

 

* * *

 

 

“Someone’s got to wake him up,” came a voice outside his curtains, waking Scorpius from his slumber. A voice that belonged to one of the boys he shared the dorm with: Albus Potter. That’s right, a Potter in Slytherin, who’d have guessed? Well, apparently everyone. Albus was predicted to be put in Slytherin at the age of five, when a spout of accidental magic meant Rita Skeeter ended up in St Mungos, much to Ginny Potters’ delight. From then on, Albus was the outcast of the Potter family and because of it, had been warmly accepted into the arms of Slytherin. Most people never gave a rats ass about his last name.

“By all means wake him up then, Potter,” another voice sounded – Peter Kasey, Albus’ best friend and another one of Scorpius’ dormmates.

“I’d just leave him. It’s a miracle he’s not already outside our defence class taking notes on next years lessons,” the sarcastic drawl of Hayden Finnigan-Thomas sent a shiver down Scorpius’ spine. Most of his dormmates put up with him, or at least ignored him, but Hayden had some sort of vendetta against Scorpius. He guessed it was because of their parents, but Albus – the one person who probably deserved to have a vendetta against him – was the friendliest of the lot.

“Don’t take the piss,” Albus spat back. Yes, believe it or not, these boys are friends. Before Albus had the chance to ruin Scorpius privacy, he removed his _Muffliato_ charm and stepped out of the curtain, smiling slightly at Albus but ignoring the rest as he stalked off into the bathroom.

“Well, that’s that. Breakfast, please?” Jordan Faraday asked, the final boy who shared a dorm with Scorpius. The other boys hummed in agreement and Scorpius heard the faint sound of shoes being pulled on, bags being packed and finally the scuffle of feet as they left the dorm. He was alone.

He showered quickly, trying his best to rub away the black circles under his eyes, though he knew now they were a permanent fixture. They came from nightmares of his dying mum, to his dad throwing a glass across the room when he came home drunk, to little things like how much anxiety his classes were going to cause him the next day. No matter what Scorpius did, his dreams always felt scarily real. He’s tried dreamless sleeping potions, but they began to take a toll when he started feeling hungover every day, a pounding headache residing in his brain. Now, he just accepts the nightmares for what they are and knows that every night will be a restless one.

Deciding to skip breakfast – a horrible decision considering he also skipped dinner the night before – Scorpius took his time to get ready. He placed his guitar in it’s case under his bed with two locking spells and a disillusionment charm in case anyone came looking for something to deface. He’d accept _‘Son of Voldemort’_ written over his trunk, bedpost, robes, even his forehead (that had happened once or twice), but not his guitar.

Once dressed, he put his headphones on and pressed play, listening to his morning playlist whilst packing his bag with the days essentials. Ensuring his wand was in his pocket, he took a slow walk up to the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom, which was – unfortunately – his least favourite subject for various reasons. The only reason he liked it was because of his teacher.

Professor Harper had been teaching at Hogwarts for ten years and had been head of Slytherin house for nine of those. She was a muggle-born who excelled in DADA during her time at Hogwarts and had become the youngest Professor in Hogwarts history, putting her at only twenty-nine years old at present day. Her youth was a delightful change to the older, more grumpier professors – or dead in Professor Binns’ case – and she engaged significantly better with most the students.

Scorpius entered the classroom five minutes early as usual, taking his usual seat at the back of the class. When he first started – as a bright-eyed eleven-year-old – Scorpius sat at the front of every class, answered every question and was a ‘joy to teach’. However, as the years went by, he got more reclusive. In second year he sat third row, in third he sat sixth, in fourth he sat seventh, in fifth he sat ninth and now his sixth year was the tenth row and thus the very back. He was no longer a ‘joy to teach’ because he never participated in class unless forced to, though this irritated most the teachers because he is ‘very bright’.

Scorpius still was ‘very bright’ and top of his classes, he just never liked speaking when every time he opened his mouth he would be ridiculed in some way. In class, he couldn’t hide behind music, he had to listen to the sting of each insult as they ate away at him. So he stuck to the back and barely interacted.

Some people called him a mute because he never spoke – he did, just not often. The most his mouth was used for was singing or muttering song lyrics to himself as he studied, behind closed curtains or in the library with a silencing charm. Some called him a ghost because he was never around. People saw him in class, but that was it. He was never in the Great Hall – at least not for longer than it took to grab food and escape, he even skipped this year’s Welcome Feast. He was never in the courtyard or at the lake. He was never at Quidditch games. Most people – who weren’t in his year and didn’t share classes with him – questioned if he ever existed at all. Scorpius liked it that way. Not that it stopped the bullies or rumours.

As the class started filling up, Scorpius pressed pause on his music box and pulled his headphones so they rested around his neck. Next to him, his usual DADA partner – Audrey Yaxley – sat down, completely ignoring him. For a Hufflepuff, Audrey was quite mean. To him, anyway. She had only been placed there because she was being disruptive at the beginning of term and was banished to the back of the class, as though sitting next to him was some form of punishment. Scorpius knew Professor Harper didn’t mean it like that, but that was how it felt. However, they were stuck with each other. Not that DADA required a lot of partnering up unless they were dealing with duelling spells. Mostly, they got to keep to themselves.

“Okay, class, the Patronus charm,” Professor Harper paused dramatically, a smile on her face as the classroom erupted into excited chatter. “I have a special guest to teach you this. He produced his first Patronus at thirteen, would you believe! And taught it to other students a couple years later, so he’s well equipped to teach you. Please welcome, Mr. Potter,” she started the applause off and the rest of the class followed awkwardly. Over where Albus Potter was sitting came cheers and playful nudges of the shoulder from his friends as Albus rolled his eyes, an annoyed look on his face.

Harry Potter came down from Professor Harpers office, dressed in a sweater vest with a tie, playing idly with his wand as he addressed the students with a quirky ‘hello’ and a wide smile. If Scorpius was eleven, he’d be writhing in his seat, desperate to ask _The_ Harry Potter thousands of questions on the war. However, he was sixteen – two months off seventeen – and really couldn’t care less the great war hero was in his classroom.

Mr. Potter started asking questions about the Patronus charm – why it was needed, what was it needed against, how it was conjured; all the stuff Scorpius knew at age nine when he’d found a dusty old book on Dementors at the back of the Malfoy library. The class responded enthusiastically, enthralled by their celebrity guest. Even Albus – who seemed sour that his father was here – seemed to ease up and answer a couple of questions. DADA was Albus’ best subject and it was no secret.

“Does anyone want to have a go at casting one?” Everyone’s hand flew up. Everyone’s but Scorpius’. “You will all get the chance, but I want to see someone try before I teach you the best way to go about it,” Harry spoke, eyes scanning the eager crowd of students. Scorpius sunk lower in his seat, hoping to somehow go completely invisible. Even though his hand was the only one not in the air, Mr. Potters’ eyes landed on him. “You.” He pointed his wand at Scorpius.

Scorpius swallowed. “Me?” He pointed to himself, hoping beyond all hope someone was sitting behind him, though he knew that was impossible, unless they’d managed to sink into the wall.

“Yes, you. Mr…?” He trailed off, waiting for Scorpius to finish the sentence. It was bullshit. Harry bloody Potter knew full well who he was. Scorpius was the spitting image of his father – his high school enemy.

“Malfoy,” he choked out anyway, knowing he’d taken too long to respond.

“To the front, Mr. Malfoy,” he gestured. Scorpius could feel everyone’s eyes on him, including Albus’. “And take those things from around your neck, please.” There was a slight giggle as Scorpius removed the headphones and put them away in his bag, feeling terribly exposed without them.

Knowing better than to protest – he’d never get away with it – Scorpius gripped his wand firmly in his hand and slowly slid the chair from under him. Under the weight of a thousand eyes – or what felt like it anyway – he walked slowly to the front of the classroom, gaining a sympathetic look from Professor Harper. Professor Harper had stopped asking Scorpius to partake in any classroom activity that involved standing in front of the class when he had a panic attack his third year, but even she couldn’t get him out of this one.

He finally reached where Mr. Potter stood, doing his best to remind himself that he was okay and nothing bad was going to happen. He rubbed his neck in comfort, feeling worse when remembering his usual anchor was tucked away in his bag.

“Okay, have you ever cast this before?” Harry asked. Scorpius shook his head, a movement so slight that it could barely be registered. “Do you know how?” Scorpius nodded. “Whenever you’re ready.”

“I- I can’t,” he stuttered, feeling his breathing becoming unsteady. _Pull yourself together, Scorpius,_ he scolded himself, but it did little to calm him.

“Should have expected as much from Voldemort’s son,” shouted Hayden Finnigan-Thomas from where he sat. Scorpius looked at him briefly, just long in enough to catch Albus elbow him in the ribs.

“None of that, please, Hayden,” Harry scolded in the worst authoritative tone ever. It sounded like he’d just turned down a cup of tea, not telling off a student for bullying another. Scorpius ignored that he obviously knew the names of Albus’ friends, another reason he never bothered telling him off properly. _Zero-tolerance on bullying? Bullshit,_ Scorpius thought. He expected better from the Head of Magical Law Enforcement.

Harry turned back to Scorpius. “Why not?” His tone was harsher with Scorpius than with Hayden, and Scorpius really just wanted to floor to swallow him hole. _What was the spell for that again? Deprimo?_

“I just can’t,” he was barely speaking loud enough for the class to hear.

“Well, try. Think of a happy memory and say the words: _Expecto Patronum.”_ He spoke them slowly, as though Scorpius was a two-year-old just learning to talk. He fought the urge to roll his eyes.

Scorpius turned to him, gripping his wand tighter, turning his knuckles white, hoping it’ll ease some of the anxiety. The next words he’d speak would hopefully be quiet enough that only Harry and Professor Harper would hear.

“What if… I don’t have one?” He asked, hating himself for how stupid and vulnerable he sounded.

“Have one what?” Harry questioned, louder than Scorpius, making him wince.

“A happy memory,” he replied in the same hushed tone as before.

Of course, Harry wasn’t catching on to the whole privacy thing. “You don’t have a happy memory?” The whole class laughed behind him. Scorpius was seriously contemplating that black hole spell now. “Nothing?” Scorpius shook his head, close to tears at this point.

_Don’t cry, don’t cry. It’ll only make things worse._

“Just try it,” Harry said.

Scorpius sighed and turned away, biting on his lower lip. He thought of music, the way he felt when he wrote a new song or discovered a new melody. The way he felt when he found a new band or learnt a new song on guitar from his favourite muggle singer.

 _“Expecto Patronum_ ,” he muttered, thinking about all that. But, those memories weren’t exactly happy. Music never made him feel happy, it made him feel content, invisible, at peace. Peace wasn’t happiness. Happiness was not an emotion to be felt by Scorpius Malfoy, so of course, nothing happened. Not even a wisp of silver.

Once the class got their laughs in, Mr. Potter sent him back to his desk. Scorpius curled up in his chair, hugging his knees as the class continued. Once the theory side was covered, they only had a few minutes left to practice and Mr. Potter left them to it. Scorpius stayed in the corner, fiddling with his wand and contemplating just sneaking out before anyone noticed.

Around him, people were starting to get the hang of it. Albus got it first time, which was a surprise to absolutely no one. When the wolf sprang from the end of his wand, the class seemed to be amazed at the silver creature sniffing around before disappearing when Albus lost his concentration because Peter poked him in the sides.

When the class came to an end, Scorpius felt the relief off his shoulders. Mr. Potter wished them goodbye, saying how he’d see them the following week for another lecture. _Great,_ thought Scorpius, _more time for you to embarrass me._

“Scorpius, Albus, can I see you both for a second?” Professor Harper called just as Scorpius was about to the leave the class. Scorpius looked to Albus to try and gauge his reaction, but the other boy looked just as confused. Scorpius made his way to the front, shuffling on his feet as he waited for Albus to join his side. He hoped it wouldn’t take long, otherwise they’d both be late to potions and Scorpius hated being late.

“Everything okay at home, Scorpius?” Professor Harper asked before Albus made his way over.

“Fine,” he lied, sending her a fake smile.

“I just wanted to check up after last year,” she reassured, smiling widely at him in her usual manner. Scorpius never got a chance to reply because Albus joined them.

“Yes, Professor?” Albus asked as he stepped up to Scorpius side, his robes slightly wonky as he rushed to put them on. He looked up the office where his father had disappeared to, probably hoping that whatever this was didn’t concern him.

“Is everything okay?” Scorpius asked, wringing his hands together – a nervous habit he’d never been able to kick, despite his fathers’ attempts.

“Of course. Neither of you are in trouble or anything, you’re my star pupils,” Professor Harper reassured. Albus grinned at the compliment, whereas Scorpius averted his eyes and shuffled uncomfortably, releasing a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. The last thing he needed was to be in trouble, his father and grandmother would screw.

“So…?” Albus prompted.

“Both of your grades are slipping,” she began. _Slipping?_ This was news to Scorpius. “Scorpius your practical grade has slipped slightly and Albus your theory grade has,” she explained.

“Is this because of last years O.W.Ls? Professor, I still got an O,” Scorpius protested. Albus looked at him confused.

“It is because of last year,” she confirmed.

“It wasn’t a big deal. I froze, and I sorted it out. I still cast the charm.”

“Yes, but in matters of defence against the dark arts, we can’t afford to freeze.” Scorpius slumped and Albus eyed him suspiciously. He was probably wondering where this new protest-y, defensive Scorpius came from. Scorpius was wondering too. “It’s no big deal, Scorpius. All I’m saying is your practical grade has slipped slightly and as Albus’ practical grade is impeccable I thought maybe he could tutor you. Or rather, you can tutor each other as your theory grade is outstanding and Albus needs help.”

“A- a tutor?” Scorpius stumbled.

“Fine by me,” Albus said, shrugging his shoulders. “I admit, theory isn’t my strong suit and I need this N.E.W.T. if I want to be an Auror,” he turned to Scorpius. “It’s not a big deal is it?” Scorpius wanted to protest. He wanted to say that actually, _yes,_ it is a big deal. But, then was it? His father never need know he had been offered a tutor and if Albus was going to somehow help him then he should take it. Albus was the best in the class at the practical side of DADA, and is famously known as Hogwarts’ best dueller, claiming the title his second – _second!_ – year.

“No,” Scorpius replied.

“Great, I’ll let you decide the details, now off to class before you’re late,” Professor Harper sent them on their way. They exchanged another glance before exiting the classroom, beginning the long walk to potions together. Scorpius would have preferred to do it in silence – or with his music – or alone, but it seemed rude to cut Albus off like that. So, he suffered through the awkward walk.

“When are you free?” Albus said suddenly, after a few moments of silence.

“Hm?” Scorpius responded, pulling himself from his thoughts. He dared a glance at Albus, but the other boy was looking straight ahead.

It was no secret that Albus Potter was the most good-looking boy in the whole school. Everyone either wanted to be him or date him, Scorpius included. Not that he’d ever admit it out loud. Sure, Albus was hot but he was also way out of Scorpius’ league. What would a popular, gorgeous, pro-dueller and athletic Quidditch player want with dorky, reclusive, loner, loser Scorpius? The answer: nothing.

“When are you free to start this tutoring or whatever? Let’s call it studying, tutoring sounds awful,” he chuckled to himself. Scorpius never joined in.

“Whenever,” Scorpius responded. “Probably better to work around your schedule.” Albus’ position as seeker on the Quidditch team meant he had a busier schedule than Scorpius – who used his free time to play music or study. Admittingly, he wouldn’t want to cut his music time, but he had to sacrifice a few things for his grade.

“Okay, well Mondays after dinner works for me? And Thursday mornings, I have frees until lunch.”

“Mondays fine. I have Ancient Runes Thursday morning but could do after that until lunch, it’s a couple of hours still,” he went over his schedule in his head, but it seemed this was sufficient enough time.

“Great, so practical on Monday and theory on Thursday?” Scorpius nodded, catching a glimpse at him to find Albus already staring, his green eyes intense under the dimmed lighting. “Sounds good.”

They lapsed into silence as the potions classroom came closer, and just as they were about to enter the dungeons, Albus stopped him with a hand on his arm. Scorpius flinched away, pulling his arm away, unused to people willingly touching him and being gentle about it.

“Sorry,” Albus spoke upon seeing his reaction. “I just wanted to say sorry about my dad, he was a dick in that class and it wasn’t fair.”

Scorpius tried to hide his shocked reaction, but feared he failed. “Thank you,” he said, earnestly. Albus nodded and began walking again, Scorpius followed into step next to him.

“What happened last year?” Albus asked as they approached the classroom.

“Nothing.” Scorpius brushed it off, stalking into the classroom and taking his seat – once again at the back of the class - leaving Albus stunned behind him. He probably didn’t even care, he was probably just being nosey. Scorpius kicked himself for agreeing to those extra tutoring sessions. He could have requested any other person, but it just had to be Albus bloody Potter, didn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Scorpius and his adorable headphones by: https://secretlydreamingofgansey.tumblr.com/ who has kindly agreed to draw for this fic again!  
> I know, Harry is an arse, but he gets better, trust me.  
> Let me know what you think, thank you!  
> Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
> Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


	2. Rainbow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to the incredible response from yesterday and because I'm having a pretty shitty week, I am blessing you all with a new chapter! Thank you for all your support yesterday, it means the world!
> 
> I have taken a stance with Rose that a lot of people may not like, and she is quite mean in this so I hope you don't hold it against me too much!  
> Trigger warnings for implied self-harm.
> 
> Chapter Title: Rainbow by Kacey Musgraves because it is a song literally written for Scorpius Malfoy.

Scorpius slowed to a stop outside the duelling room where Albus had told him to meet him for their first tutoring – or rather, studying – session. He pulled his headphones off, letting the music continue playing as he hesitated at the door. He was early, surely Albus wasn’t here yet. Still, as he was about to push the door open, a voice sounded from the other side.

“Can’t you hex him or something, Al?” A girl whined, sniffling as though she’d been crying. Scorpius felt like he was intruding in on a conversation he wasn’t meant to be hearing.

“And get expelled?” The other voice – Albus – responded, a hint of amusement in his tone.

“You won’t get expelled, McGonagall loves you!” The girl, who Scorpius suspected to be Lily – Albus’ younger sister – protested.

“Why don’t you hex the bastard yourself? You never usually have a problem sticking up for yourself.” There was a long silence before Albus carried on talking. “You still really like him, don’t you? He cheated, Lulu.”

“I know!” She was crying again, her voice muffled against what Scorpius suspected was Albus’ chest. “I wish I could hate him!”

“It’s okay,” Albus reassured, shushing her quietly as she sobbed into him.

Scorpius creeped the door open, making it seemed like he hadn’t heard the entirety of the conversation. Seeing Lily Potter – a girl usually so fierce and bright – succumbed to tears in her brothers arms made even Scorpius want to hex whoever did it. The Potter siblings were a formidable trio, even though the oldest – James – had graduated last year. They were fiercely protective of each other and always looked out for each other. Even Scorpius – who was never included in the gossip train of Hogwarts – heard all about the antics the three got up to.

Watching Albus cradle his younger sister and hold her until she stopped crying made Scorpius long for a sibling. He had always wanted one. Maybe a sibling would make the days less lonely. Maybe a sibling would stop the bullies. Maybe a sibling would make his life significantly better. Nonetheless, he was alone. He was always alone in everything he did, especially since his mum passed. Scorpius thought he would get used to the lonely pit in his stomach, but it grew more with everyday until sometimes it made him want to puke.

Albus caught a glance at him, waving his hand letting him know it was okay to enter. Scorpius nodded, taking slow steps towards them, dropping his bag at one of the chairs on the way.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he spoke, his voice breaking through Lily’s quiet sobs and making him cringe.

“No need to apologise,” Lily said, breaking from Albus and wiping her tears. When she turned to face him, she seemed surprised to see _him_ of all people. “Hi, Scorpius,” she greeted, an unsure edge to her tone, but it wasn’t unwelcoming which was a change.

Scorpius had met Lily before. Back when she was in her first year and Scorpius in his third, he used to tutor first years in herbology – not his favourite subject but he was good (like everything else) and Professor Longbottom asked him to help, so he couldn’t say no. Lily was among one of the students in his tutor group, and one of the most eager. She was probably the only one not to shy away from him as well, which was a nice change.

“Hi, Lily,” he greeted back, as though they’d been acquainted for a long time, despite not speaking since Scorpius gave up tutoring. In his third year, he used it as a distraction after his mum passed away the summer before but had since come to learn that nothing can distract him from that pain.

Lily turned to Albus and whispered something along the lines of “when did Scorpius Malfoy get hot?” but Scorpius brushed it off, willing away the blush in his cheeks. Albus rolled his eyes and nudged her playfully.

“Can I stay, Al? You know I love learning new duelling techniques!” She begged her brother, bouncing happily on her toes.

“No, you can’t. Get going, I know you have homework,” he ordered. Lily huffed but obliged, briefly hugging and thanking him. Albus told her he’d see her at breakfast, and to look after herself. He also said that if she needed him, he’d be there in a flash. Scorpius found it incredibly sweet. Once Lily had disappeared in a flurry of red robes and red hair, Albus turned to Scorpius.

“Hi,” he greeted.

“Hello,” he replied, awkwardly, as though he hadn’t been sharing a room with Albus for six years. There was a brief silence – the only sound coming from Scorpius’ headphones - where Scorpius stared at his shoes until Albus broke it.

“What’re you listening to?”

“Hm?” Scorpius’ head shot up, meeting Albus’ intriguing eyes. He gestured to the headphones around Scorpius’ neck in answer.

“Oh, Queen,” he supplied, reaching in his pocket to turn the music off. He felt suddenly lost without the faint sound of rock music in the background. In fact, he felt completely lost knowing his schedule was interrupted. Scorpius usually snuck off to the piano room on the evening, when he didn’t feel like revising or playing his guitar or violin.

“Am I supposed to know who that is?” Albus questioned, rocking slightly on his heels, fumbling with his wand. It was the first time Scorpius had seen Albus look anything but confident.

“A muggle band,” he supplied. “So, now what?”

“I asked Professor Harper what she thought best, and she said maybe working on your duelling skills will enhance your reaction time, which is apparently where you lack,” Albus jumped into explanation, the previous nervous-looking boy disappearing in the wake of what he was comfortable with.

“I’m not very good at duelling,” Scorpius admitted, scuffing one shoe against the other before remembering his father would scold him for it if he ever found out. _Ha, jokes on you, Scorpius. That would require him caring,_ a voice reminded him, making his shoulders slump.

“That’s what I’m here for,” Albus grinned. His grin lit up his whole face, and somehow Scorpius found himself smiling too. _Woah, calm down, Scorp. It’s not like he asked you out._ Scorpius shook that thought off. As much as he would like to date someone like Albus Potter – or maybe even Albus himself – Scorpius knew it was a pipe dream. Someone like Albus would never be interested in someone like him. “Do you know nonverbal magic?”

“I’d be worried if I didn’t,” Scorpius replied, hoping the sarcasm carried. Albus chuckled slightly, which meant that it did.

“Good start, okay. Come over here,” Albus instructed, walking off and climbing onto the stage used for the duelling club. Scorpius walked up the other end, stopping just a short distance from where Albus had. “Back up a little.” Scorpius did. “Okay, the first rule of duelling, always be the smartest person in the room,” he grinned.

“I’m not sure that’s true,” Scorpius objected.

“It’s not,” Albus agreed. “It just sounded cool to say.” This made Scorpius smirk a little and roll his eyes. “Okay, okay, I’ll be serious.” Albus held his hands up in surrender. Scorpius was pretty sure he’d die if Albus looked as cute as that at every one of these tutor sessions. Surely, it was unfair for someone to be as pretty, smart and talented as he was – despite his cockiness.

“The first rule of duelling is,” Scorpius’ wand was ripped from his hand, “never let your guard down.” Albus held Scorpius’ wand victoriously in the air.

“We never officially started,” Scorpius objected, walking forward to retrieve his wand from Albus.

“You think every duel starts with bowing? Oh no, my friend, those are just the polite ones,” he smirked, inspecting Scorpius’ wand, twirling it over in his hand. “Cool wand, I always thought mine looked kind of boring.” Even Scorpius had to admit his wand was cool, made from beech wood and bent slightly in the middle. The tip was coloured white, a stark contrast to its dark wood handle. “What’s the core?”

“Phoenix feather,” he shrugged. Albus looked up from Scorpius' wand in awe.

“No way!” He admired, tracing his hands down the carvings of his wand. Scorpius had a bad habit of drawing or carving on his wand whenever he got anxious. It started in first year, when he was subject to the worst bout of bullying he’d ever endured. They were mostly Ancient Runes, ones he’d come across in books he’d read over the years that were tucked away at the back of the Malfoy library. Being an isolated kid, Scorpius read nearly every book in there, including ones well beyond his reading age.

“Yours?” Scorpius asked, if only to be polite. Albus was still holding both their wands, quizzically looking at Scorpius’ to try and figure of the carvings.

“Aspen wood and white river monster spine,” he responded, not looking up. “What do these mean?”

“They’re Ancient Runes, most mean something like happiness or wealth, healing and so on,” he said, holding his hand out. Albus gave him his wand back, the amazement still on his face. Scorpius wouldn’t tell him that when he had originally carved them, he’d hoped they would somehow give him luck and happiness – all the things those Runes meant. He had long given up on that kind of faith.

“Why?”

Scorpius only shrugged in response, walking back to his previous position and readying himself. He held his wand steadily in his left hand, the other arm wrapped around his stomach. Without another word, Albus and Scorpius both waved their wands, but Scorpius was hit with a _Flipendo_ before he had the chance to put up his shield and had landed harshly on the floor.

There was a reason he never liked duelling – he bruised like a peach.

Scorpius shook himself off, massaging his neck and making sure no damage had come to his headphones. Albus appeared over him with a hand extended.

“Quite fond of those, aren’t you?” He asked, pulling Scorpius to his feet. Scorpius removed his headphones, feeling naked without them, and tossed them gently over to where his bag was.

“Pretty sure I’d be lost without them,” he mumbled, only willing to admit that to himself, but Albus heard nonetheless.

“I noticed, when my dad asked you take them off you look like a lost puppy. Are they a comfort thing?”

“Something like that,” Scorpius responded. Albus gazed at him, a look across his face one that Scorpius couldn’t decipher. He usually prided himself on being so perceptive. The ability came with being invisible – or trying to be invisible. However, Albus dropped it and walked off, back to where he was standing before.

“The best way to win a duel is to predict your opponents next move,” he turned to face him. “You are quite defensive; your stature gives it away. You’re not willing to attack, and even though you’re a Slytherin you’re not very sneaky, so your go-to response is to defend yourself. You were going to cast _Protego,_ right?” Scorpius looked down at the floor, nodding slightly.

“Look at me,” Albus requested. Scorpius did. “What would you say about my stature?”

Albus was stood with his wand drawn, pointing at Scorpius. The hand free of his wand was also held out to the side – open. His legs were stood firm, one in front of the other and his shoulders squared. He looked ready to fight.

“You’re going to attack,” Scorpius responded.

“Right. But, if I see your position first and know you’re going to defend yourself, my attack spell is useless if I’m not fast enough. Therefore, I have to surprise you and by doing that I keep my attack stance but use a spell I know will get around your defences.”

“So, it’s a giant game of guessing?” Scorpius asked, incredulous.

“Essentially. There’s more to it, of course, but that’s the first part.”

“But that could go on forever. The possibilities are endless. If you stand to attack and I defend, but then decide a sneak attack would be better and then go for that, I could already know you’re going to do that and attack to beat your spell, but then you could predict that and defend and so on and so on. It’s not exactly efficient,” Scorpius protested, in disbelief at the absurdity of his all.

“First of all, that’s the most you’ve ever said it me in one go.” Albus teased, with a beam on his face. Scorpius bowed his head. He remembered a time when he spoke all the time, would never bloody shut up. Then, he got called annoying over and over and so he stopped his rambles. It hadn’t been easy at first, but he adjusted.  “Second, it doesn’t usually go that far. There are only three options, you have to be exhausted of options of some point.”

“I’m just saying it doesn’t seem like the best tactic.”

“Then, what is? Luck?”

“Luck doesn’t exist,” he responded. “Not unless it’s bad,” he muttered more to himself, knowing he had his fair share of bad luck throughout his short life.

“It does, but not in duelling. In duelling it’s down to skill, prediction and being the smartest person in the room,” he grinned, holding his wand out again. Scorpius responded by mirroring his position, going through all the possible spells in his head. Going on Albus’ theory of prediction, Scorpius decided to hit him back with a _Flipendo_ to sneak around the defence Albus was going to put up, but was interrupted by a _Depulso,_ which sent him flying to the floor – _again!_

“You think too much,” Albus called, walking over to offer his hand again. Scorpius – and his wounded pride – took it and let Albus help him up. “Don’t think, just act.”

“I have to think,” he protested, starting to feel wounded by this lesson. “Can we do something else? Something I’m actually good at,” Scorpius asked, sitting down on the stage with his legs hanging over the edge, massaging his neck. Albus sat next to him, a little too close. Though it was rather rude for Scorpius to back away.

“That defeats the object of learning,” Albus reminded, nudging him with his shoulder the way he had to Lily earlier on. Scorpius coughed in awkwardness and this time did shuffle away, but hopefully subtly.

“I’d rather give up,” he jumped down. “I’ll take the lower grade and accept being disowned because I’m never going to get this.”

“Not with that attitude. Since when do you give up? You used to be so eager and persistent.”

“You don’t know anything about me.”

“True, but that’s because you don’t talk to anyone. Do you even have any friends?”

“No.”

“No?” Albus had asked the question seemingly knowing the answer, but it still seemed to shock him. “Why not?”

“People don’t want to be friends with me,” he shrugged, not wanting to get into this conversation. He had long accepted the fact that he was friendless, knowing no one wanted anything to do with the reclusive Malfoy boy with a dead mother, a deadbeat father and the suspected child of Lord Voldemort. And Scorpius had long given up on wanting to be friends with people who bullied and ridiculed him on a daily basis. He was happy on his own.

Well, happy might have been a stretch.

He was fine on his own. He had long learnt to live with it.

“Well, I’ll be your friend,” Albus offered, jumping down from the stage now too and walking over to Scorpius.

“I wouldn’t bother if I were you. I’ll probably use the Cruciatus Curse on you whilst you sleep,” he rolled his eyes, referring to a rumour that went around in his second year.

Scorpius had made a friend – Hallie Garner – for the first time. They met in the library and quickly clicked. She was a Ravenclaw and incredibly smart. They bonded over their love for Ancient Runes and music. Hallie played the cello and was bloody good. She never heard Scorpius play. However, two months into their friendship, the rumour started. Hallie’s older sister hated that she was hanging around with a Malfoy and started the rumour herself, claiming she had witnessed Scorpius do it to her poor younger sister.

The rumour quickly cut off Hallie and Scorpius’ friendship, and any other friendship Scorpius tried to make. Hallie had – per request by her sister – gone along with the rumour. She tried to apologise to Scorpius, but he hadn’t forgiven her. She had long since given up with getting forgiveness from him, and Scorpius had no intention to forgive. She had hurt him, and Scorpius had no time for people like that.

“I’ve slept in a bed next to yours for six years, if you wanted to curse me you could’ve done it already,” Albus chuckled, but Scorpius never responded. “Come on, friends?”

Albus held his hand out and Scorpius studied it carefully. Surely, this had to be some sort of practical joke, like that date he went on in his fourth year. But, Albus had never been anything but friendly towards him and had never given him a reason to make him not trust him. Scorpius sighed, knowing he’d probably regret this in the future, and shook Albus’ hand.

“Friends.”

“Good, I never liked feeling at odds with you. I probably haven’t been the friendliest over the years, but I always did like you,” Albus said, turning away and heading back to the stage.

“Why?”

Albus paused, clearly stumped and taken aback by Scorpius’ question. He hadn’t meant for it to sound rude, but Scorpius was so used to people pranking him and using him that he had to admit there was an ulterior motive to the question. Albus turned, and what came out of his mouth next surprised Scorpius.

“You don’t let the cruel world get to you, I like that.” Albus really did not know him at all if he thought Scorpius didn’t let the rumours and bullies and lies get to him. Tell that the scars on his thighs. He would never inform Albus of that though, and instead said:

“So, what now?” Albus grinned. As much as Scorpius thought Albus had gotten way too much out of him (he still knew nothing, but he knew more than anyone else at this school) and that he wanted to finish this up, another part of him wanted to stay with Albus longer.

That was a funny feeling. And not one he had ever felt before. He ignored the skipped beat in his heart as Albus grinned and gestured back over to the stage. He followed him and climbed back on, not sure what the rest of the lesson would be like or how he’d ever survive it with Albus looking at him like that.

_Not the time to fall for the pretty boy out of your league, Scorpius._

“Name a spell you’re not good at,” Albus asked. Scorpius gave him a look that said: _really?_ “Okay, aren’t the best at. Better? Mr. I’m-good-at-everything?”

“Not everything,” Scorpius protested. He didn’t want to bring up the DADA lesson with Albus’ father the previous Friday, but they both knew they were thinking it. “I won’t do a Patronus because I’ll never be able to, next question.”

“I never asked anything about a Patronus.”

“Yeah, well you were thinking it.”

“You know,” Albus said, stepping towards him until he was a breath away. “I can teach you.”

“Not today,” Scorpius responded, his voice uncertain due to his close proximity with Albus. He never liked people being close to him. Being close meant being more of a target, he much preferred to keep his distance.

Albus chuckled and nodded, but never spoke another word. Instead, he conjured his Patronus, a blur of silver wisps erupting from his wand until it formed the shape of a wolf. The wolf circled around before sitting, awaiting a command from its owner.

“This is Spears,” the wolf’s ears pricked at his name and it made its way over to Albus’ outstretched hand, nudging it with its head.

“Spears?”

“In honour of the Silver Spears duelling club. I probably would have been an honourary member if it was still running, my wands even made of Aspen,” he grinned, proud of himself.

“You’d have fit right in,” Scorpius confirmed. Scorpius didn’t know if it was the Patronus, or just that it was easy to speak to Albus, but he felt lighter than he had in weeks.

“Thanks,” he said, touched. “So, a spell?”

“Hex-deflection, I’ve never be very good at those.”

“Okay, let’s get started.”

 

* * *

 

 

Scorpius was still adjusting to being _friends_ with Albus Potter. Honestly, not that much had changed. Albus hung around with his usual posse – either their other dormmates or the Quidditch team – and Scorpius kept to himself. Except now Albus started asking if he was okay, or where he was going or where he’d been, and Scorpius lied every time, which didn’t feel very friend-like but Albus would never need to know that.

Scorpius would usually let Albus do the talking in the times he’d managed to grab Scorpius’ attention for more than five minutes and would also quickly excuse himself whenever. It was nice having a friend, but it was also bloody strange. And Scorpius still didn’t quite trust him.

Nothing else had changed. Scorpius had thought in the beginning that their dormmates might be a little nicer now that Albus was being friendlier with him, but they all still treated him like he never existed and that was fine by him.

Scorpius pulled his headphones from his ears and dropped them onto his neck when he saw Albus at the library desk waiting for him. It was time for their theory DADA tutor session, a session Scorpius could take control with because it was something he could do. They’d been tutoring each other for a couple of weeks now, and Scorpius was just about getting used to the new routine.

He was about to greet Albus cheerfully, when he saw two other people seated at the desk with him. One was Lily, her red hair French plaited down her back, dressed in her Gryffindor robes. The other was Rose Granger-Weasley, her similar red hair in two space buns atop her head and a scowl that instantly clouded her face when she saw him.

“Hey Scorp,” Albus greeted. _Scorp? That was new._

“Hey!” Lily greeted, a smile wide on her face. She seemed genuinely happy to see him, which Scorpius definitely couldn’t say for Rose who rolled her eyes and turned back to her page.

Rose and Scorpius have a complicated past. Well, not complicated exactly, it was fairly simple. They hated each other. Or rather, she hated him which led to him hating her. She had always been the head of the bullying that stemmed from the Gryffindors, especially towards Scorpius. He can’t say he ever thought of her as a nice person. But, he usually brushed it all off. Most of it was harmless pranks and stupid hexes thrown his way.

Until she nearly accidentally killed him. Though, she didn’t know that Scorpius knew it was her, hence why she was still at school. Scorpius never told anyone who did it. He also didn't believe it was her intention to harm him as badly as she did, another reason why he brushed it under the rug.

Towards the end of their fourth year, back when Scorpius dared to venture into the Great Hall, Rose spiked his drink with – well, no one knew what with. To this day it still hasn’t been discovered because the people who did it were never found. But, it was spiked with some kind of potion. Scorpius never knew if Rose and her friends knew the effects of the potions, but let’s just say Scorpius spent a week in the hospital wing recovering his senses, because whatever was in the potion sent him deaf, blind and speechless. It was touch and go, and for a while there was no guarantee he’d ever be able to see again. Luckily, he fully recovered. Not from the trauma of it though.

Sometimes he still remembers the way it burnt as it travelled down his throat, cutting off his ability to speak. The panic set in as soon as the potion did, working it’s way through his body to his hands, which went numb; to his eyes, that went blind; to his nose, that blocked of any smell; to his ears, which went deaf; to his tongue, that was nearly severed.

He doesn’t remember much of the week, high on pain potions and the other ones needed to help him regain his senses. He just knew that his father never visited, and no one noticed he was missing from classes. Scorpius had always been alone, but that week was the loneliest he’d ever felt.

“Scorpius?” Albus’ voice pulled him from his reverie.

“Hm?”

“You okay?” He asked warily, pulling the chair out next to him as an offer. Scorpius took it, eyeing Rose carefully but she refused to meet his eye.

“Yeah, you were saying?”

“I said I hope you don’t mind, but Rose had some DADA homework to do and so does Lily and she struggles a little with the theory, would you mind if she asks questions if she gets stuck?”

Scorpius’ heart was pounding so loud he could barely focus on what Albus was saying, the memory of fourth year repeating over and over in his head.

“Yeah,” he managed, forcing a smile at Lily and playing with the ends of his headphones around his neck.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Albus asked and Scorpius jumped when he placed a hand on his shoulder. Albus noticed and pulled away quickly. Scorpius wanted to explain that it wasn’t him touching him that scared him, but it was the sudden movement and random touch.

“Fine, Albus,” he assured. Albus dropped it and nodded, opening his textbook to a page on Dementors, smiling dorkily up at Scorpius. Clearly Albus had picked his choice of topic for this session.

“Dementors?” Scorpius questioned, turning to that page in his own book and then pulling his notes from the class they had on it earlier in the year. Albus nodded, keeping that damn adorable smile on his face. Scorpius nodded, and they got to work.

They spent a good half an hour on Dementors, discussing their abilities and the best way to defend yourself against them before Lily piped up, asking Scorpius a question on Redcaps. He answered without even looking at his book, which received a proud look from Albus and a scowl from Rose. Another thing about Rose: she never liked that he was smarter than her in every class.

“I miss you tutoring me,” Lily said once she’d finished writing down everything Scorpius was saying on a separate piece of parchment, so she could re-write it in her own words for her homework. Scorpius was taken aback, surprised that Lily even remembered that he used to tutor her, let alone miss it. “You were good, and I did really well in Herbology that year. Neville thinks that the only reason I have such an interest in it now is because you got me into it.”

“Really?” Scorpius questioned, still recovering from the shock.

Lily nodded aimlessly. “Why’d you stop? I was hoping you could keep it up, mostly because I actually enjoyed going. I don’t know how you made Herbology sound interesting, but I think you also made me like it.”

“Personal reasons,” Scorpius replied, shrugging off the question with as little an answer as possible. Next to Lily, Rose scoffed, earning herself a scowl and a kick under the table from Albus.

“I need to go get a book, coming Lil?” Rose said, standing up and dragging Lily with her before she had time to object. They had disappeared down a row of books in a second, Rose whispering angrily to Lily. Scorpius knew it was about him. Still, he brushed it off. He knew Rose never liked him anyway.

“You and Lily are really close, huh?” Scorpius asked, if only to block out the furious whispering coming from the bookshelves. Rose wasn’t exactly trying to be subtle.

“Yeah, always have been. Apparently, I begged my parents for a little sister so much, that when she was born I cried of happiness,” Albus smiled, either at a memory or that knowledge. Scorpius found himself smiling, too.

“That’s sweet. I always wanted a sibling,” he admitted. Albus looked from Rose and Lily to Scorpius, his smile halfway to fading.

“I couldn’t imagine not growing up without James and Lily,” he mused. “Even though James is a pain in the arse.” Scorpius chuckled alongside Albus, mostly forced but some of it was genuine. It was hard not for it to be genuine when Albus laughed like that.

“He’s not that bad, is he?” Scorpius asked, though truth be told he never knew much about James Potter, and now that he had graduated Scorpius didn’t think he’d ever get to know him.

“Depends on his mood,” he joked. His laugh faded when he looked back at Lily and Rose. The former looked like a kicked puppy, her arms folded, and head hung low as Rose went on and on. Scorpius could almost guess what she was saying but decided against it. There was a reason he always wore headphones these days. There was a reason he avoided the Great Hall as often as he could. Those reasons both started with Rose Granger-Weasley.

“Rose doesn’t seem to like you,” Albus pointed out, probably picking up on the same cues Scorpius was as he watched his sister and cousin.

“Add her to the list,” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact and playing with the corner of his DADA book.

Scorpius didn’t think he’d ever forget the look of sorrow that passed over Albus’ features. The honesty of the look warmed Scorpius’ heart in some way. It wasn’t a pity look, but just genuine pain, like he couldn’t imagine anyone wanting to be on that list. Scorpius didn’t flinch this time when Albus placed a hand on his arm, patting it slightly. Instead, he allowed himself to feel it, allowed himself to believe that it was genuine. That Albus might actually _want_ to be his friend.

The feeling remained all the way till that evening, when he returned from his usual piano playing session to a note on his pillow that read:

_People who like Scorpius Malfoy._

  1. _Albus Severus Potter._



 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We all love a good duel, drawing curtesy of: https://secretlydreamingofgansey.tumblr.com/
> 
> I'm sorry about Rose, just give me a chance, all will be resolved, trust me.
> 
> Thank you again for all your support so far! Let me know what you think :)) Love you all!  
> Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
> Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


	3. If I Die Young

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some bullying and violence and panic attacks and implied self-harm in this chapter, just a warning! 
> 
> Chapter title: If I Die Young by The Band Perry. This is the song I imagine Scorpius singing at the end, it reminds me a bit of Astoria so I think it'll be a song he holds dear to his heart.
> 
> Thank you so much, the support so far as been incredible! Thank you so much and enjoy!

_Just in and out, fast as lightening. You’ve got this, you’ve done this a thousand times before,_ he told himself, over and over. It was the same thing he repeated three times a day when faced with having to enter the Great Hall. Sometimes it wasn’t enough to convince himself and he’d just avoid it all together. But, he was hungry today and needed something.

He adjusted his headphones, making sure they were on firmly and switched the song to a more upbeat one, hoping to feign confidence through music. He pulled his hood over his head, deciding it was the best way to stay invisible and kept his head down as he dove into the busy halls of the Great Hall.

He reached the Slytherin table in record time, piling various sandwiches into a takeaway tub to eat in the library tucked away in his favourite corner behind a silencing charm.

Scorpius found out that afternoon the downsides to listening to music all the time. Yes, he could block the bullies verbally. But, he couldn’t physically.

Because he couldn’t hear anyone, the hand on his shoulder startled him, and when he turned to meet his aggressor, he barely registered the punch to his face until he was on the floor spluttering blood. The same hand pulled him from the floor, wrapping tightly around his throat and shoving him against the wall. Greg Goldstein spat insult after insult at him, his hand getting slowly tighter and cutting off his breathing supply, but Scorpius couldn’t hear him due to the blaring music in his ears.

He fought against him until Greg let him go, dropping him to the floor with a crash.

Scorpius choked on the air he was desperate to get into his lungs, but it was becoming increasingly difficult. He could barely focus, could barely register anything. The only thing he could think of doing was running. So, he ran. He ran from the Great Hall all the way to the dungeons, barely gasping the password before he was in his dorm.

He ignored his dormmates – who were all in there, including Albus. Instead, he ran straight through and into the bathroom, closing and locking the door with a wave of his wand.

Struggling for breath, Scorpius pulled his headphones from his head, placing them on the sink. His neck already felt bruised and sore, and with every breath came a wheezing noise accompanying it. Outside, he could just make out his dormmates talking – or rather, Albus talking.

“Was he bleeding?” Albus asked, to which Scorpius presumed he got a shrug in return. Scorpius blocked anything else out and looked at himself in the mirror.

There was blood streaming from his nose, and he conjured a tissue to hold against it. It was starting to crust where parts of it was drying around his mouth, but it was still rapidly pouring. He held the tissue against his nose, ignoring the pain of doing so. A shiver went through him as he looked back at the mirror, a purple bruise already forming around his eye. He swallowed, the act more painful than it should have been. He looked at his neck and saw red finger marks around it, making him feel like he couldn’t breathe again.

Scorpius dropped the tissue, grasping at his neck as though it would allow more air in. His chest was tightening, memories of the event wrapping around his lungs and choking him harder. He couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t stop and think long enough to be rational and just breath like a _damn_ normal person.

“Scorpius?” Albus asked from the other side of the door. Scorpius barely heard him over the pounding in his ears.

Scorpius ignored him. Friends or not, Albus was just checking up on him to be polite and right now Scorpius wanted to be left alone more than anything.

“Scorp?” He called again, knocking softly on the door.

“Go… away,” Scorpius responded through ragged breaths, though there was no real bite to his tone. He was too focused on trying to breath and stop his bloody nose from bleeding. His eyes stung from unshed tears, eyes going bloodshot in the desire to let loose the budding water.

“Open the door,” Albus said, carefully. Nearly a month of studying with Albus – being official ‘friends’ – and Scorpius still couldn’t adjust to the idea of _someone_ actually liking him. Even with the note he kept in the pocket of his robes.

“Please,” he begged, “go… away.” The words felt raw against his throat, the implications of being strangled catching up with him. The wheezing seemed to increase, panicking him even more.

“Are you okay?”

Scorpius never answered. He couldn’t. Because that one question broke through his barricade, and the tears started pouring down his face faster than a waterfall. He sank to the floor, curling his knees into his chest and held them tight with one arm whilst the other cradled his nose, his eyes scrunched closed as he tried to clear his mind. He knew Albus could hear his sobs from the other side of the door but couldn’t find the energy to cast a silencing charm.

He regretted it when the door clicked open.

Clearly, Albus was not putting up with his bullshit any longer and decided to take matters into his own hands.

“Please… leave me… alone,” Scorpius begged, each word strained through laboured breathing.

Albus crouched down next to him. “Scorp, you need to calm down,” Albus said, placing two hands over his cheeks. Scorpius managed to get some control over his breathing and when he opened his eyes, he was startled to see Albus much closer than he imagined. In his haze, Albus had grabbed one of Scorpius’ hands and placed it over his much-steadier beating heart. It must have been that which helped Scorpius slow his breathing and rapid heartbeat.

Keeping his hand firmly over Albus’ chest, he let himself feel the impact of his beating heart, letting it fill him up until he finally managed to take control of his breathing completely. He stared into his enchanting emerald eyes, finding nothing but concern in them and felt warmed slightly.

“Is he okay?” Peter spoke from the door of the bathroom. Albus never answered, and instead closed the door with a flick of his wand, having to take his hands from Scorpius’ cheeks. Albus conjured a cloth and lightly pressed it to Scorpius’ still bleeding nose.

“Sorry,” he muttered as Scorpius winced from the pressure and pain. The bleeding had slowed down a lot, and Albus pulled the cloth away to inspect it a little. Then, he held his wand up precariously between his fingers. “Do you trust me?”

Scorpius nodded, tentatively. If it had been anybody else, Scorpius would have said no. But, this was Albus. His only friend. He’d also seen him patch up members of his Quidditch team if they got a minor bang-up during practice or a game.

“ _Episkey,_ ” he waved his wand at Scorpius’ nose, and with a harsh crack it snapped back into place. Scorpius winced, but the pain slowly faded, leaving behind the last little trickles of blood. Albus conjured another cloth and wet it slightly with his wand before pressing it against Scorpius’ face again, cleaning away any of the dried blood.

Scorpius watched Albus’ face of concentration as he got to work. The gentle lines caused by the furrow of his brow, his green eyes narrowed in attentiveness and lips parted slightly. Albus briefed a small glance to meet Scorpius’ eyes before dropping them back to his nose.

“Who did this?” Albus asked, his voice rough and harsh. If Scorpius didn’t know any better, he’d say he sounded angry. But, why on Earth would he be angry? It was Scorpius who got banged up, and Scorpius who had to suffer through the pain, not him.

“Goldstein,” he explained, knowing there was no way Albus would leave without getting some kind of answer of out him. His voice sounded rough, like he’d been smoking twenty cigarettes a day for fifty years.

“Never liked that bastard,” he muttered, tone full of contempt. It nearly made Scorpius laugh.

When Albus finished cleaning his face, he cleared up the mess and sent Scorpius a smile. “Are you okay?”

“Not really,” Scorpius answered, honestly.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay.”

Scorpius expected Albus to get up and leave. But, he didn’t. He sat down next to him, knees pulled to his chest mirroring Scorpius’ position. He sat so close their arms were touching and he never said a word. Scorpius watched in confusion, but Albus didn’t seemed fazed. After a few moments sat there in silence, exhaustion began to take over. He shuffled down and tentatively rested his head on Albus’ shoulder. When the other boy never protested, Scorpius let himself shut his eyes for five minutes.

 

* * *

 

 

“Scorp?” Albus’ gentle voice woke him from his slumber, a hesitant hand shaking his shoulder. Scorpius opened his eyes and took in his surroundings. He was still in his dormitory bathroom, head resting on Albus’ shoulder. He lifted his head slowly, unsure at what point he fell asleep. “Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you, you’re clearly exhausted, but I have a game in like twenty minutes. I’m supposed to already be there.”

“I’m… sorry,” Scorpius mumbled, voice sounding worse now than it had earlier. He wondered if his face and neck had bruised yet. “How long was I…?”

“About half an hour,” Albus spoke as he trailed off. “I was going to move but when I saw you were sleeping, I figured I’d let you rest a little while longer,” he looked almost sheepish as he explained. Albus reached up a tentative hand, hovering it slightly over Scorpius’ bruised eye before quickly pulling away.

“Thank you,” Scorpius mumbled, keeping his voice low out of fear of straining it. Did this mean he wasn’t going to be able to sing? “For everything… you know, cleaning me up and staying,” he swallowed, suddenly realising how much he needed water. Just as he was about to say exactly that, Albus had already filled a cup up and handed it to him.

“Your voice sounds bad,” he observed. His eyes widened as he caught a glance of Scorpius’ neck. Once Scorpius stopped sipping, Albus placed a hand under his chin and lifted it up, exposing his neck for better investigation. “Shit, did he strangle you?” He asked, incredulous.

Scorpius nodded, still not wanting to talk about it at all.

“Look, I can stay. I don’t have to play-”

“No, Albus,” Scorpius cut him off with the firmest voice he could muster when his throat felt like he’d swallowed a razor blade. “I’m not letting you miss a game because of me, don’t be stupid.” _And besides,_ he thought, _I’ve made it this far on my own._

“Are you sure?”

“Yes,” he urged, gesturing for him to go. He still needed to change into his uniform. Albus smiled at him, and gently ruffled his hair before leaving him alone.

Scorpius decided to take a shower, knowing that when he’d finish the dorm room would be empty of his dormmates who were all supporting Albus in the match. Scorpius liked match days because it was the only day he got to truly be on his own. Most of the Slytherin dorms were empty, especially if it was Slytherin playing. Scorpius never went, of course, he’d be murdered if he did. He’d probably be thrown over the stands and die a horrible death or hit with carefully aimed bludger knowing his luck. He didn’t know what would happen, he just knew it’d be bad.

It was a relief when the dorm was empty – Scorpius had feared for just a moment that maybe one of them would have been left behind. It was just as messy as usual, a sight which made Scorpius anxious. He never understood how four boys (he wasn’t a messy person) messed up their spaces so dramatically even when a house elf had come to clean in the morning. By the midday, it would always look like a bombs hit it.

Scorpius got dressed, discarding his previous hoodie now bloodstained for a fresh one and a pair of joggers. He walked back into the bathroom with a pot of bruise cream – he’d bought some on one of the Hogsmeade days he dared venture into at some point at the end of last year and would soon run out. He applied the cream to his still-sore eye and neck, where purple bruises the shape of fingertips and a palm had started to form. After applying it, he pulled his hood up and hid his neck as best he could – even if it was just him who had to see them.

Scorpius had planned to spend the day in the library, but since that plan had been foiled, he let himself fall onto his bed and pulled the curtains around him. No one would be back for hours, but he still preferred to be in his own little bubble. Deciding he never had the energy for studying – he had no assignments anyway, it was just revision – he pulled his guitar from under his bed.

He tuned it slightly, so it would match the song he wanted to play, before settling it in his lap and beginning to run his fingers over chords. On days when he’s had a bad day, he preferred playing without a pick for reasons he’d rather not think about.

The harmonious sounds emitting from his favourite instrument instantly settled his weary heart, making it feel warmer. He plucked his fingers over each string in a careful pattern, creating a gentle melody. Knowing his voice would sound awful, he began to sing, ignoring the burning pain in his throat that caused his eyes to water.

As he sang, he allowed his thoughts to wander off, allowing them to get lost in the beautiful tune. He thought of his mother, the way she smiled whenever he played something new for her. She had never known he could play guitar. He taught himself after her death, when the piano and violin became too painful to touch. He had eased back into the piano, but his mother - with the help of his grandmother - had taught him how to play the violin and now he only touched it when his grandmother insisted. She didn’t care how many painful memories it brought back.

However, the guitar was sacred to him. A blank slate. No one knew he could play and that meant he could have it all to himself. He taught himself by listening to acoustic versions of songs and playing them back through memory. He had managed to find a book on chords the same Hogsmeade trip he got the bruise cream and had taught himself those, so he could start writing his own music. He preferred covers, but sometimes he would get a melody in his head and wouldn’t be able to get it out unless he wrote it down. He didn’t often write lyrics either, but some things just came naturally to him.

Music did. Music was his safety net. Music was his solace. His home. His light whenever he felt in a very dark place – which was most days recently. And best of all, it was his. Not his fathers, not his grandmothers, not his mothers. His. Music was his flare in the sky, telling him he wasn’t alone even when he felt like he was. Even when the whole world was against him, music told him that there is a bigger world out there, just waiting for him.

It was his escape.

As he played, his voice adjusted to its new (hopefully temporary) limitations. He artfully strummed against his strings till his fingers bled, and only then did he switch to his pick.

He wasn’t sure exactly how long he’d been playing. It felt like merely minutes, but he knew it must have been significantly longer.

He froze when he heard shuffled movement outside his curtains.

He forgot to cast a silencing charm.

He listened, waiting for the person to announce their presence, but no one spoke. If their whole dorm was back Scorpius would know about it – they leaked noise. There was just one set of footsteps and Scorpius had been so lost in his music he weren’t sure how long they had been there. They could have heard everything for all he knew.

Taking a deep breath, trying to remind himself that it wasn’t the end of the _fucking_ world if one person heard him, he pulled the curtains back to look at his intruder. To his surprise, he found Albus. He was sat on his bed, pulling his Quidditch boot off and hissing in pain.

“Albus?” He spoke, grabbing the other boys attention. He shot his head up, his look of pain momentarily turning to a smile before switching right back. Scorpius climbed out of his bed, making sure the curtains stayed shut to hide his guitar from view. He crossed the room, stopping just short of him. “You okay?”

“Got hit by a bloody bludger, Hooch sent me off and the seeker sub took my place,” he explained, pulling his sock down just over his heel, but leaving it over his toes. He rolled his trouser leg up, revealing a very red and very swollen ankle. Scorpius reacted with a hiss of his own, feeling the second-hand pain just looking at it.

“You should go to Pomfrey,” Scorpius suggested. Albus shook his head, testing the pain by poking at his swollen ankle. Scorpius resisted the urge to roll his eyes. Instead, he turned back to his drawer just as Albus let out another hiss. He pulled out a small vial of pain potion, one he’d kept after his last trip to the hospital wing and turned back to Albus. “At least let me have a look then.”

He dropped to his knees in front of Albus, carefully taking his ankle in his hand and lifted it to rest on his knee. Albus let out another hiss. “Take this,” he handed the vial to Albus.

“Is this a pain potion?”

“Yeah, it’ll take the swelling down as well. It’ll only be what Pomfrey gives you,” Scorpius explained. Albus said nothing and downed the potion. The effects were almost instant, and in the decrease of swelling, Scorpius could get a better look at his ankle. It wasn’t broken, just bruised and sprained by the looks of things.

“You’re really good, you know,” Albus said, voice sounding loud in the emptiness of the dorm despite speaking barely above a whisper. Scorpius shot his head up to look a him.

He had heard him.

Scorpius gently guided his ankle back to the floor and stood up. “You should rest that. Put a couple of pillows beneath it,” he said, making a beeline straight for his bed.

Albus – ignoring his advice – stood to follow him. “Wait, Scorpius!” Scorpius turned it time to catch him as his weak ankle went from underneath him, sending him nearly sprawling to the floor if Scorpius hadn’t been there.

Their eyes connected, green on grey. Albus stood himself up fully, with a little help from Scorpius, their eyes trained on each other the entire time. Albus’ hands were still in his and Scorpius was almost _too_ aware of it.

“You are really good,” Albus whispered. “I didn’t even know you could play.”

Scorpius pulled his hands from Albus’, coughing slightly to cover up the awkwardness. “I don’t really. I just dabble,” he brushed it off.

“Sounded like more than just dabbling. James has been playing for years and that was much better,” he smiled, chuckling at his own joke. Scorpius averted his eyes, keeping them trained on the floor and his socks. Albus’ socks had a slight hole in them, and Scorpius thought about how much his father would scold him if he ever let that happen – if his father ever bothered to notice that was.

“Thanks,” he muttered, hoping beyond all hope this conversation would end soon.

“I’m serious. You shouldn’t hide that kind of talent. And if that’s your voice with a sore throat then I’d love to hear it when it’s better.” If Scorpius were to look up, he’d see a wide smile that illuminated his green eyes which mirrored the tone of his voice. Which is why he kept his eyes on the floor.

He swallowed, “I don’t play often.”

“Well, I’d love to hear you play properly. But, I’m sorry, I clearly wasn’t supposed to hear that.” He was right. He definitely wasn’t supposed to hear that. Music was his. He didn’t want to share it with anyone.

“It’s fine,” he mumbled.

“Can I hear something else?” Scorpius’ head shot up at the question. Albus actually wanted to hear more? When he met eyes with Albus’ once again, his eyes were wide with hope.

He didn’t know why he did it, or what courage he found to do it, but he nodded. Albus’ face broke out into a wide grin, excitement buzzing through his eyes. Scorpius opened his curtains and sat crossed-legged on his bed, nervously fidgeting with his hands before picking the guitar up and settling it down on his lap.

He stumbled over the first few chords, his hands shaking so badly he could barely control them. He stopped, smacking his hand harshly on the base, cutting off the echo of the strings. “Sorry,” he muttered, closing his eyes and taking a shaky breath. When he opened them, Albus was looking at him with wide-eyed concern.

“You alright?” He asked.

Scorpius nodded. “Could you maybe just… I don’t know… turn around?”

Albus’ mouth quirked into a small smile, a dimple appearing on the one side of his face. He nodded and turned, slightly unsteadily due to his sprained ankle.

Scorpius closed his eyes, forgetting there was anyone in the room. It was easier to pretend Albus wasn’t there at all. Finally, he got control over his shaking hands, and strummed his fingers over the strings, the melody of the last song he’d been playing echoing throughout the room. It was from a muggle band, one of the first songs he’d ever learned to play.

Soon enough, he added lyrics to the gentle melody, picking up the beat slightly. It was one of the more country-like tunes Scorpius played, and despite the depressing lyrics, the melody was quite upbeat. He only played the first verse and chorus before drifting into silence, unsure on anything to say.

He was torn between shutting the curtains and hiding away and asking Albus what he thought. He had never played guitar for anyone before. Part of him was starting to wish he’d never agreed. But then, Albus turned back around. Slowly, as if unsure whether Scorpius would want him to or not.

“Did you write that?” He asked, tentatively. Scorpius shook his head. “It was still brilliant. You're... incredible.” He moved forward, as if he was going to sit next to him but stopped himself. “Thank you.”

Scorpius looked up to find nothing but admiration and pride filling his eyes. “Thanks,” he muttered, trying to calm his heart.

They fell into a short silence, both unsure on what to say. They were soon interrupted by the racket of their dormmates getting closer. Scorpius put his guitar down and grabbed his curtains ready to pull them closed. Just before he did, he looked back at Albus. “Thank you… for listening. And you should really rest that ankle.”

With that, he closed his curtains. He grabbed his headphones and put them on and blocked everything else out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drawing by: https://secretlydreamingofgansey.tumblr.com/ as usual
> 
> Hope y'all enjoyed it, let me know! :) Thank you!!!  
> Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
> Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


	4. Ease

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is Ease by Troye Sivan (because is it really a Scorbus fic without something inspired by him???)
> 
> Bullying and depressive thoughts warnings in this chapter!
> 
> Enjoy!

Something was different.

Scorpius couldn’t figure out exactly _what_ was different, just that something definitely was.

He could feel in it the silence; the air was different. He could feel it when the lights went out; the gentle thump of his heart. He could feel it in the empty corridors; the growing presence of loneliness.

He’d been lonely and alone before, but the feeling was growing. The hole in his heart was empty, carved there by the death of his mother and never to be refilled. His stomach ached with loneliness and emptiness and –

“Hey.”

And it was full.

“Hi,” Scorpius greeted Albus as he plonked himself down on the library chair next to him. Within seconds his belongings were sprawled out on the desk before he rearranged them in a neat pile. His books stacked with the one he needed first on top, his quills lay neatly next to his capped ink-pot, and a stack of parchment in a neat pile in front of him.

Albus was an organised reviser. Something Scorpius had learned about him over the time they’d been studying together. His set up was a shiny car show compared to Scorpius’ car boot sale. Scorpius was clean in every sense of the word, except when it comes to studying. His books were splayed out, open on different pages, the edges overlapping. One quill was being used a bookmark whilst another was behind his ear, the last one held in his hand as he wrote. His pieces of parchment were everywhere, and he couldn’t even admit that it was an organised mess because that would be a lie.

“You’re here early,” Albus observed, eyeing his set-up. It was a familiar sight to him now.

Scorpius shrugged, “Class finished early.” He had never questioned when his Ancient Runes professor let them out early, the class just accepted it. Scorpius made a beeline for the library, knowing it wouldn’t be long before Albus showed up for their weekly theory lesson on DADA.

“Fair. I got you this from the kitchens. Noticed you didn’t eat this morning.” There was a slight blush across Albus’ cheeks as he handed a breakfast croissant over to Scorpius, wrapped in foil.

Shocked, Scorpius took it from him and unwrapped it. “Thank you,” he spoke in slight amazement. Albus noticed he didn’t eat? Scorpius didn’t think people ever paid that much attention to him, even his new friend.

“No problem. You know, you should eat more, you’ll waste away soon,” he spoke as though it was a throwaway comment, but Scorpius could hear the genuine concern buried deep.

As Albus buried himself into that weeks DADA homework, Scorpius allowed himself to admire him for a moment. There was a slight crease in his forehead as he furrowed his brow, clearly confused on the question. He was worrying his lips between his teeth, squinting and leaning forward as though that would help him understand the question more. He played with his quill, rolling it between his thumb and finger before jotting down the question on a new piece of parchment.

He held his quill wrong. It was the most endearing thing. He used all but his little finger to cradle the quill, which was positioned way too close to the tip. It explained why his handwriting was a complete mess. Scorpius thought he was probably the only person ever who could decipher it.

A stray strand of black hair fell in front of his face. He blew at it, but it remained stubborn, before he seemingly gave up. Scorpius fought the urge to push it back for him, unsure of how the action would be received.

“Hey, Scorp, do get thi…” Albus trailed off when he looked up and saw that Scorpius’ eyes were already trained on his. Behind that damned stray piece of hair, his green eyes were glistening. His eyes were really something out of this world. They swam like the ocean, glistening under the bright beams of the sun.

Scorpius should have looked away. But he couldn’t. It was like Albus had some kind of enchantment over him, because he just could _not_ look away. Albus’ lips curved into a smile, revealing his single dimple on his left cheek.

“Do you get this?” Albus tried again, his voice sounding croaky and dry. He leaned closer to Scorpius, their arms nearly touching. Scorpius snapped out his reverie. He moved his hand slightly but leaned over to read the question from Albus’ parchment, even though it was completely unnecessary because the same question was written on one of his pieces of parchment… somewhere.

“Oh – erm, yeah,” Scorpius launched into explanation, and Albus jotted down his notes on a spare piece of parchment. Once he fully understood, the two lapsed into silence as they wrote their essays. It was due the next morning – Scorpius had basically finished his already and just needed to make a few adjustments – but Albus waited till the last minute, knowing he’d need help with it anyway.

As they worked away, Albus asking the odd questions the further along the essay he got, Scorpius had to keep himself from getting distracted.

Maybe that’s what’s different.

Albus.

Besides his short-lived friendship with Hallie in his second year, it was no secret Scorpius had never had a friend before. Was it normal to admire them the way he admired Albus? He was strong, intelligent, diligent, kind. His riveting good looks were just an added bonus to his heart of gold. He was the only person who bothered to give Scorpius the time of day. He helped him when no one else would. He cleaned the blood from his nose and stayed with him knowing Scorpius needed the company even though he didn’t know it himself.

But then, was it possible that Scorpius was developing more-than-friends feelings for him? He knew it was possible, for as long as he could remember he’d never looked at the girls the way he looked at boys. He had never really put a label to it, initially thinking he’d never need to because no one would want to date him anyway. When he wrote songs, he wrote with male pronouns. But then, he would never change the pronouns when singing covers. And then there was the fact that he had never actually been attracted to anyone – guy or girl. He had never looked at them and saw what other people his age saw. He never had the desire to reach out and start a relationship – sexual or otherwise. It just… wasn’t him.

“Okay, not being funny or anything,” Albus’ voice startled him, and Scorpius realised he’d been staring off into space for Merlin knows how long. “But, you seem in your own little world. Defence Against the Dark Arts not entertaining enough?” He teased, a smirk on his face that accentuated his dimple.

Scorpius coughed, ridding any awkwardness from the air, and sat up. “Sorry, just… thinking,” he finished lamely.

“Sickle for your thoughts?”

Scorpius shook his head. “They aren’t worth a sickle.” And besides, what was he going to say? _I’m thinking about how beautiful your eyes are and how I find you extremely attractive and I think I might be having more than friendly feelings towards you even though I’ve never felt like that about anyone before._ Yeah, no.

“A knut?” Scorpius dared a glance at him, trying to hide his smile from Albus’ teasing. He shook his head and Albus sighed, admitting defeat. “Okay, let’s go for a walk.”

“A walk?” It was November, the beginnings of frost were taking over the school. Scorpius couldn’t think of anything worse.

“Yeah, down to the lake. Clear your head. It’s good for you. I do it all the time, like a form of escape. Though, usually I run,” he shrugged.

That was it. Albus’ escape. Running. It made sense, he was fit and on the Quidditch team. Scorpius couldn’t help but wonder what it was that Albus Potter needed to escape from. Though, he understood the pressure of last names, and even though Malfoy was hard to run from, Potter was hard to live up to. Especially when said Potter is in Slytherin house.

“Come on,” he encouraged. Albus was pouting at him now, eyes wide like a puppies. This was his begging face, and Scorpius found it very hard to say no to.

That was how he found himself at the lake with Albus, wrapping his robes around him to fend off the cold even though they no where did enough. His teeth were chattering, and his hand was cold from where he was holding onto his bag strap, but all in all he felt pretty content. Albus walked close to him, their arms brushing every so often.

There was a pause in the conversation and an awkward silence settled over them. Albus paused, scuffing at his feet and opening and closing his mouth over and over like he was badly imitating a fish. He wanted to say something. Scorpius recognised that type of behaviour. He’d been observing it all his life so long as his head wasn’t down and his headphones on (that was a more recent progression). He knew body language and knew that whatever Albus was preparing to say could not be good. Scorpius prepared for the worst.

“Can I ask you something?” He started, scuffing his shoe one last time before looking up and meeting his eye.

Knowing he’d probably regret it, Scorpius nodded his head.

“When Professor Harper paired us up for this tutoring thing, you said something,” he paused, “and I can’t stop thinking about it.” He looked down again. Scorpius swallowed and nudged his shoulder playfully, a silent gesture to tell him to continue. “Something about O.W.Ls and freezing. You seemed pretty anxious about it and you don’t have to tell me, obviously, but… I was just curious.”

Scorpius froze, a shiver travelling down his spine that had no relation to the November chill. Scorpius swallowed the lump in his throat and walked down the pier slightly, careful not to step too close to the water. He never liked big bodies of water, the fear stemming from his inability to swim.

“It was a boggart,” he started, taking a brief glance back to make sure Albus was still there before looking out again. He had always known a boggart would be in his O.W.L. exam, but he expected to see his mother dying like he had third year when he first learnt the spell, or even something as mundane as a body of water. But, that’s not what stepped out of the wardrobe.

Albus crept up next to him, careful to keep his distance. He never spoke, he let Scorpius gather his thoughts first. He did, however, take his hand. Scorpius flinched at first, but quickly settled into the feeling. Albus’ hand was warm compared to his, as it had been in the pocket of his trousers the whole way down. He let the warmth of his hand fill him up, and somehow found the courage to tell him.

“It took form of my dad, and no -” he cut off Albus’ small gasp before he had the chance to think the same thoughts Professor Harper did. The thoughts that put him in questioning for hours with her and Professor McGonagall to get to the bottom of _why_ Draco Malfoy was his sons’ biggest fear. “I’m not scared of my dad. He doesn’t abuse me or hit me or anything like that. I’m scared of…”

He stopped and looked out to the water, watching as the peaceful surface was quietly interrupted by the fish that lurked below. He felt safe knowing he was on the pier and dry and holding Albus’ hand.

“I’m scared of what he represents,” he finally admitted.

“Represents?” Albus had spoken for the first time since asking the question, and though it was quiet, Scorpius was still shocked by how close he was standing. He squeezed Scorpius’ hand, a silent gesture of encouragement. Scorpius couldn’t even stop to think for more than a second about _why_ Albus was holding his hand, he just let himself enjoy it. It was very rare little moments like this came along. He wanted to hold on to it.

Maybe it was a mundane thing; holding someone’s hand. But, Scorpius had long learned to live for the mundane things. The big things in life – a family name, friends, relationships, school work – were all giant burdens. They can’t be changed, because it’s set in stone. Scorpius wouldn’t never not be a Malfoy. His father would never not be Draco Malfoy. His mother would never not be dead. He would never have friends, or a relationship. He would either pass or fail all his exams. Those kinds of things never change.

But the little things. The little things were often the only things keeping him alive. The way his guitar sounds when he strums the strings. Piano music in a large empty room. Cup of teas at home because Scorpius was too anxious to make them at Hogwarts, so he lived without. Reading a really good book and feeling both full and empty after it. Laughter of a child, so innocent and pure. The gentle breeze of the wind on a summers day. A smile, small or big. Little things. Little things changed the world. They changed how you saw the world.

The world was a shitty place – Scorpius had long known that. But, seeing someone smile on a day of failing an exam could truly change a person’s perspective. There was always a chance to re-take, so why worry? Scorpius never got many moments like that; his life was all the big shitty things. But, he relished in the warmth of Albus’ hand and vowed to try and remember this feeling for as long as possible.

“After mum died,” Scorpius started, realising he’d been quiet too long. “Dad kind of went off the rails.” He realised after a moment that he’d never told this story to anyone. Ever. Besides the teachers, but that was against his will. He wondered if it would feel good to get it all out, or if he would regret opening a part of him to Albus.

“After the war, before he met her, he used alcohol and drugs as a form of escape, to try and forget the horrors he’d seen and caused. They met, dad got clean and started a family. Had me, you know, and all in all things were okay. Never good, but okay. Then when she died…” he swallowed a lump in his throat, pushing away the tears threatening to spill. Talking about his mum – thinking about her – never got easier. “He sort of lost it. He’s been in a drugged-up haze ever since. I’m pretty sure he barely remembers I exist.”

He took another deep breath, but Albus was still quiet, letting him finish. His green eyes were firmly on the side of his face, whereas Scorpius kept his gaze out to the lake.

“I’m scared of what he represents,” he repeated. “Loneliness.”

“Do you feel lonely, Scorpius?” He asked, voice quiet. Scorpius shut his eyes for a moment, taking deep breaths to calm his racing thoughts. As soon as he was sure the tears were no longer going to fall, he opened them again.

“Sometimes,” a lie. All the time.

He turned to face Albus, surprised that he was much closer than he thought. Their eyes met, a silent connection.

“I wish you didn’t,” he spoke in a whisper, warm breath tickling Scorpius’ face. Albus released his hand to play with the wire on his headphones, then slowly cupped his cheek. Scorpius blocked out the rest of the world and focused solely on Albus’ glowing eyes and enticing lips. They edged closer and closer, their lips a breadth part away and –

_Oof._

A pair of hands collided harshly with his shoulder, giving him no time to think or breathe or see before he was falling head-first into the lake with a vicious splash.

The water registered first, cold and vicious, wrapping around him. It choked him as he gasped for air, entering his system and flooding his lungs. He flailed his arms and legs, desperate for air. Panic settled in his bones. He was going to die.

This was how he was going to die.

Death by drowning – a close third to his worst fear.

Then there were arms around him and the mutter of a spell and Scorpius was being pulled from the water and onto the pier.

Scorpius landed harshly on the wooden flooring, a sharp pain shooting from the arm he’d landed on. A body landed on top of him, but was quickly removed, allowing Scorpius to roll over and retch the water from his system. He choked and choked, fighting for air but his body not granting it until he’d thrown up the invasion of water.

There was a hand on his back, patting slightly to help with the choking. When he recovered, still panting slightly, he blinked the water from his eyes and rubbed them clear. He barely registered Albus talking to him, the panic still residing in his bones. He could hear faint laughter in the distance, but he couldn’t feel anything at all. Not really.

His hands reached for his neck, finding his headphones still firmly there.

“No,” he breathed, tearing them from his neck and onto the pier, followed shortly by the music box in his pocket. “No, no, no, no, no, no,” he inspected them, but he already knew. The water would have damaged them. He fumbled for his wand but couldn’t find it in the robes of his pocket. “My wand…” he sobbed.

“Hey, hey, hey, Scorp, look, look at me, please,” Albus had his face in his hands. Scorpius looked at him, but never really _looked_ at him. More through him. His brain was running at a hundred miles an hour, putting a golden snitch to shame.

“My wand. I need my wand,” he breathed. “I need to fix them, Albus help me please,” he begged. He hardly ever begged. He never had anyone to beg to. Albus looked around them, leaving Scorpius to fumble with the damaged pair of headphones. He needed to dry them out, fix them in any way possible. He couldn’t live without them. They were his constant little thing. Without them, he was nothing. Without music, there was no Scorpius.

Behind him, he heard Albus mutter a brief _Accio_ , and within moments he was back at his side. “It was in the lake,” he said, pressing Scorpius’ wand into his hand.

Without much thought, Scorpius took it and began a drying charm on the broken objects, muttering to himself as he went. The fear of drowning had disappeared, replaced with a much worse, much more present fear. The fear of having to listen to his bullies. The fear of having to face the world without his trusty distraction.

Once dried, Scorpius truly had no idea where to go from there. So, he tried to see if they worked. It was a long shot, but he fumbled with the music box until it seemingly turned on. He didn’t let his heart get too excited. He grabbed his headphones and put them on, pressing play on his music box. He was greeted with a crackling buzz, before it spluttered and faded to silence.

“NO,” he screamed, ripping them from his head. The sobs that overcame him were sudden and overpowering, rendering him into a worthless mess.

“Hey, maybe I can help,” Albus’ sounded next to him, but he seemed so far away. “I’ve helped my grandpa fix up stuff like this before, I bet I could do it on my own.”

“I need them,” was all Scorpius could say.

It was then Albus realised that Scorpius wasn’t dependent on drugs like his father, who used the mind-altering substance to cure his loneliness. He was addicted to music, a much less dangerous form of addiction, but still one used to cure the same thing: loneliness.

“I’ll fix them,” he assured. Scorpius looked at him, eyes bleary and red from the constant tears. “I’ll fix them.” He said again, surer this time.

Albus dried him off and helped him back up to the castle. Luckily, he had discarded his bag on the pier, so none of his belongings got wet and ruined besides the most important thing Scorpius owned. Homework can be done again; a pair of headphones were hard to come by for him.

He had picked them up at an old vintage wizard shop in Diagon Alley last Christmas when he went to shop for a Christmas present for his father and grandmother – the only time he was ever allowed out the house alone. That and the music box came as a set, charmed to select any type of music you wanted, including muggle music. The owner of the shop assured him it will also work in Hogwarts. He barely hesitated to buy them.

He never used them until the train journey back to Hogwarts, too scared his grandmother would find them and confiscate them – they were too muggle-like for her liking. But since that day, he had never taken them off aside from being at home. If people talked about him – which they did a lot, but Scorpius no longer knew what they said – they would describe him as “the blond boy with the headphones” and they would reply, “ah, Malfoy?” and then someone would bounce in with some snarky comment about Voldemort and they would all laugh.

When they got back to the dorm, Albus insisted on him having a shower whilst he went and fetched them some lunch. Scorpius didn’t quite understand why he was being so nice, but then they almost kissed, didn’t they? That is what was about to happen before someone pushed him into the lake. Was he and Albus about to kiss? He wasn’t sure. He’d never kissed anyone before. But, he didn’t resent the idea if it was Albus he was kissing. But, the opportunity would probably never rise again – a kiss meant a relationship and relationships were big things and big things were never good for him.

Scorpius let it go.

He showered until his body stopped shivering, the heat finally creeping into his bones and replacing the bitter cold. When he got out and changed into a fresh set of uniform, Albus was already back from the Great Hall and sitting on his bed in a fresh pair of school robes, an array of sandwiches in front of him.

“Hey,” he beamed. “I didn’t know what you liked, so I just guessed. I also got you a tea, figuring it might help warm you up,” he explained, shoving the tea in his hands when he reached him. Scorpius took a sip, losing himself to the sweet taste. _Little things,_ he thought.

“Thanks,” he warily sat on Albus’ bed, careful of the selection of sandwiches. He wasn’t all that hungry, a slight ounce of panic still making him uneasy. Albus was chewing away, clearly ravenous. Scorpius put his tea down and picked up one of the sandwiches, tearing the crusts away before taking a small bite.

“Are you okay?” Albus asked, shoulders slumping once he noticed Scorpius’ less-than-okay actions.

He shrugged, “I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn’t have to be,” he replied, a hint of anger in his tone. Not anger at him, anger at everyone else who made Scorpius feel that way.

Scorpius stood and walked over to where he’d abandoned his old set of robes. He fumbled in the pocket and pulled out a note – crumpled, damp and ruined. He sighed, wondering if this was somehow a prediction of the future. How long would it be before Albus Potter got bored of him? Or his family realised they were friends and would tear them apart, probably move Scorpius – because Merlin forbid inconvenience Albus – to a new dorm where he’d be bullied mercilessly. If that happened, Scorpius decided, he’d drop out and run away.

Scorpius dropped the robes and walked back over to Albus, staring sadly at the crumpled note. “It got ruined,” he said, voice barely above a whisper. Albus took it from him, just barely making out the words once written there. The words that declared Albus as the first – and only – person to like Scorpius Malfoy.

“You kept this?” He asked, incredulous.

“Is that weird?” It was. He already knew that. Yet, Albus shook his head.

“I’ll write you a new one,” and he did. Straight away. He fumbled in his bag for a piece of parchment and scribbled – in that awful handwriting of his – the words that Scorpius clung to everyday. He handed it to him, and Scorpius smiled the biggest smile he could muster – which wasn’t much – and thanked him. He tucked it away in his pocket for safe keeping, a place he could always reach should he ever forget.

Albus reached over, brushing a gentle hand across his cheek and smiled, before turning back to his lunch. Scorpius would try and remember the feeling of his fingers for a long time, knowing they sent his cheeks ablaze and a warmth shudder through him.

Little things made the world seem brighter, and even though Albus was part of the big things, he found himself wondering if maybe this once, a big thing could go his way. It was a childish thought, a reckless one, but he couldn’t let it go. For the first time in his life, there was someone besides his mother. For the first time in his life, he felt at ease.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Art by: https://secretlydreamingofgansey.tumblr.com/
> 
> I can only apologise about Draco. Anyone who knows me know I love that man to pieces and I am a firm member of the Draco Malfoy Defence Squad and Draco Malfoy Is a Good Dad Squad, however, I had to make changes to my beliefs for this to work. I'm sorry. I love you really, Draco!
> 
> Thank you all for your support so far! Seriously, you guys give me life!  
> Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
> Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


	5. First Time He Kissed a Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: First Time he Kissed a Boy by Kadie Elder and it's pretty obvious why I chose this... it is also so accurate to this Scorpius that it hurts!  
> Alternatively titled: The one where Scorpius doesn't know how to flirt.  
> *Warnings* Implied self-harm and suicidal thoughts

Albus – true to his word – did fix Scorpius’ headphones and music box. It took a few weeks, with multiple owls sent back and forth to his grandfather and even a brief talk with Professor Flitwick, but in the end he returned them to Scorpius with a beaming grin. They worked perfectly, almost like they were brand new. Scorpius nearly kissed him there and then but fought against it – it would not be well received.

The few weeks without them weren’t the worst of his life, but for only one reason. After Albus had learnt the real reason why his headphones meant so much to him, he became a sort of bodyguard for Scorpius. Albus – the striking opposite to Scorpius – did not put up with anyone’s shit. If someone said something, he would reign down on them with a fury fit for a king. And no one wanted to mess with the schools pro dueller. By the third week, everyone had pretty much backed off Scorpius – but only when he was with Albus.

Which wasn’t often. During classes, their weekly library sessions, and the occasional walks to and from class were the only times they were together. They still never sat together in class, and there were classes such as Ancient Runes that Scorpius had to endure alone. It was fine. He was used to being alone, but he couldn’t help the feeling of longing that washed over him whenever Albus was too far for comfort.

This is exactly what he wanted to avoid.

He was fine on his own. He always had been fine. So he was bullied and ridiculed, and people never liked him, but that was fine. Now, Albus was in the picture, and Scorpius couldn’t imagine him never not being there. He realises this may be a strong feeling for someone who is just his friend. But, Scorpius is very perceptive and can’t help but think that maybe – _maybe_ – Albus feels the same way.

That’s a dream for another time.

Scorpius finished crafting the tiny origami dragon and cast a spell to make it flap it’s wings. It flew around his head for a moment before landing back on the desk in front of him. Content with his work – and knowing the rest of the class were bound to show up for DADA soon – he got up and placed the handmade dragon on the desk where Albus sat before returning to his seat.

Scorpius kept his music playing through his headphones as the class began to fill up, his usual partner sitting next to him and – as usual – ignoring him. Professor Harper entered, behind her Harry Potter. Scorpius scoffed as the eldest Potter walked with grace to the front of the room, his red Auror robes flowing behind him. Scorpius started silently wishing he'd never shown up for class at all.

Scorpius jumped as his headphones were pulled down, fearing the worst before he met eyes with Albus, grinning victoriously at getting Scorpius to jump. Not that it was hard.

“You’re going to go deaf one day,” he teased, tapping his headphones that still had the song playing.

“What?” He asked, feigning innocence and cupping his ear, pretending he hadn’t heard.

Albus rolled his eyes, biting back a smile. “Oh, so you got jokes now?”

Scorpius beamed a smile he felt reach his eyes – wow, when was the last time he smiled like that? – and nodded fervently. Albus – again – rolled his eyes. He flicked a gaze towards his father, who gestured for him to take his seat.

“Smile more, Scorpius,” he said by way of farewell and took off for his seat.

As Professor Harper began introducing Harry, apologising that he had to cancel his last session of Patronus’ (like a whole two months ago) and that he was now back to continue, Scorpius kept his eye on Albus. He never saw his expression when he spotted the tiny origami dragon, but did see his smile when it flew up, flapping around him and landing on his shoulder. Albus’ smile was out of this world. It was rare to see, but it could light up the darkest of rooms.

“Has Potter got a secret admirer?” He heard Hayden tease, pinching Albus’ cheeks and cooing. Albus rolled his eyes but looked back at Scorpius as though he knew it was him who made it. Scorpius sent him a smile, and minutely nodded and if possible, his beam grew.

Until Hayden sent an _incendio_ its way, the paper dragon melting to ashes. As Albus’ smile dropped, so did Scorpius’. Scorpius looked away and fiddled with his hands. Albus started up some kind of argument, the two bickering back and forth and maybe even a hand slap – Scorpius wasn’t paying attention.

“Albus,” Harry interrupted, sending his son a _I’m-disappointed-in-you_ look.

“Sorry,” he muttered, shoulders dropping. Hayden laughed, but was quickly silenced by one of Harry’s glares.

“Thank you. Now, last time I saw you, you were just starting to practice your Patronuses, has anyone been successful? Obviously, only Albus managed to cast the spell last time, but has anyone been practicing?”

The class was silent, no one willing to volunteer. Everyone knew it was a difficult spell to perform, and that some wizards never accomplished it.

“Okay, that’s fine. So, I thought we could start this lesson by going around and telling the class their happiest memory, and that way we can get an understanding on how powerful the memory needs to be, is that okay?” Silence, then a few mumbled nods. Scorpius was – once again – getting ready to perform the black-hole-in-the-floor spell to throw himself down it.

“I’ll start. My memory is my wedding day and seeing my wife at the end of the aisle, pregnant with our eldest,” Harry explained, a lustful smile on his lips. Scorpius saw Albus scoff out the corner of his eye.

“Mine is my daughters first steps,” Professor Harper chimed in.

“Albus?” Harry prompted, looking at his son expectantly.

Albus sighed, “Mine is a memory from a few years ago, where me, James and Lily spent the day together. It was the first time I felt like part of the family,” he finished, eyes narrowed and lips tight, staring accusingly at his father.

Harry coughed awkwardly before averting his eyes. “Very good. Anyone else?”

Slowly, they went around the room, listening to their happy memories. Most were mundane things, like time spent with a parent, or their first time flying a broom (not a strong enough memory apparently). Harry helped each person make their memory stronger or advised them on how to fill their hearts with that one feeling of happiness they felt at the time.

Finally, all eyes turned to Scorpius when Harry said his (last) name expectantly. Scorpius kept his eyes on the desk, playing with the corner of his textbook.

“I told you before, Pro-”

“I can’t hear you, quit mumbling,” Harry interrupted, a harshness to his tone that hadn’t been present with the other students. Scorpius swallowed the growing lump in his throat and lifted his head.

“I don’t have one, as I said before.”

“Still? You’ve had two months to think about it,” he scolded, voice raising. Scorpius pushed away the oncoming tears, his leg shaking at the overwhelming anxiety firing through him.

“Dad,” Albus spat, forcing as much venom into the word. “Leave him alone and stop bullying him.” Scorpius felt a wave of pride surge through him, a warmth that settled in his bones. Albus was sticking up for him – against his own dad!

“Al, I’m not-”

“You are! Stop it and just let us get on with it.” Next to him, Hayden’s lips formed a wicked smirk.

“Are you fucking Malfoy or something?” Hayden asked, a fire in his eyes. Albus’ cheeks burned red, but they were nothing compared to Scorpius’ cheeks as the class burst into laughter. _Was it that hard to believe?_

“Alright boys, come on. Everyone up, I want you guys practicing,” Harry ordered, and the class responded with scraping chairs and murmured agreements. Hayden muttered something to Jordan, who burst out laughing when they walked away to find a spot. Peter patted Albus on the back, but he just shoved him off. Peter stalked off to join his other friends, who were now practicing the spell.

Much like Scorpius, Albus sulked at his desk. This, however, was normal for Scorpius. Albus usually liked DADA, especially when he could show off. He was the only person who could conjure a Patronus so far, and Scorpius was shocked to see him not rising to the occasion.

Building up the only bit of courage he had – and that took about ten minutes – Scorpius stood up from his chair. He grabbed his bag, because if he left it no doubt someone would spill ink in it or something equally as bad, and walked over to Albus. He took the spare seat next to him, being eyed suspiciously by Harry.

“I’m sorry,” Scorpius said, fiddling with the sleeves of his robes and looking down at the desk. Albus looked at him, but Scorpius never looked up to see his expression.

“Why?” He asked, genuinely confused.

“They’re only bullying you because of me,” he explained. “You shouldn’t have to deal with that just because I’m a loser.” Unexpectedly, Albus placed a hand on his shoulder.

“I don’t think you’re a loser,” he said, softly.

“You’re wrong then,” Scorpius sniffed, the tears he was holding back fighting for dominance.

“Scorpius, look at me,” Albus asked. Scorpius did, lifting his head slowly to meet Albus’ gaze. There was a fierceness to his green eyes, intensity swimming through them. “You’re not very kind to yourself, are you?” He said, voice dropping to a whisper.

Scorpius faltered. “Why would I be kind to myself?”

“Because you deserve it.”

Albus stroked a strand of his hair back into place, before quickly pulling his hand away as though he realised where he was. His gaze landed on his father and Scorpius followed it. Harry was looking right back at them, a scowl on his lips. After he finished with a pair of Gryffindors, Harry walked over to the them.

Scorpius – for the third time that class – wished the floor would swallow him whole.

“Boys,” he greeted, overly-forced. “I don’t see any work going on here.” He stopped just in front of Albus’ desk and leaned on it slightly. Scorpius found the pose slightly intimidating.

“I was helping Scorpius pick a memory,” Albus lied easily.

Harry never replied, but instead flicked an accusing glance at Scorpius before straightening. “Okay class, dismissed,” he called. Students began shuffling around and picking up their belongings – Hayden came way too close for comfort to pick up his bag. He leaned close to Scorpius’ face, keeping eye contact with him, before smirking and walking away. Scorpius had to admit that was one of the weirdest encounters he’d ever had in his life.

“Al? Can I talk to you?” Harry asked.

Albus nodded. Scorpius stood, swinging his back over his shoulder and getting ready to leave when Albus grabbed his arm. “Wait for me?” He pleaded.

Scorpius nodded, and a grateful smile appeared on his lips. Scorpius went outside to wait for him. He put his headphones on and was about to press play when he heard himself mentioned. He shouldn’t have eavesdropped, but his curiosity got the better of him.

“I didn’t know you were friends with Draco Malfoys son?” Harry asked. It came out as a question, rather than a statement, as though he was asking his son _why_ indirectly.

“His name’s Scorpius and we tutor each other, so yeah we’re friends,” Albus replied in a bored tone. Scorpius pictured him picking at his nails and chewing gum like all the rebel teens in movies.

“The Malfoys are trouble, Al.”

“Maybe the one you knew,” Albus deflected. Was he really sticking up for him? Against his own father?

“They are all no good snakes-”

“Woah,” Albus interrupted his dads rant. “Are you forgetting the colour of robes? I don’t wear a green tie for the fun of it, dad. I’m a Slytherin too, remember? So be careful where you throw your insults, please.” Scorpius couldn’t see Albus, but he knew the intensity in his green eyes, fire raging through them. He’d seen it before directed at his bullies.

“I’m insulting the Malfoys-”

“And one of the _Malfoys_ ” – he mocked the way his dad said it – “is my friend.”

“And you think it’s a mistake he’s in Slytherin too?” Harry was starting to raise his voice. Scorpius knew he should stop listening, but he didn’t.

“I knew it,” Albus said, defeated. “I knew you never got over my house. You know, dad, I’m sorry I’m not James or Lily. I’m sorry I’m not a Gryffindor and I’m sorry I’m your disappointment Slytherin son and I’m sorry you can’t accept who I am.”

“Albus-”

“You know what? Maybe someone should tell the world that it doesn’t matter if you defeated the Dark Lord, it means shit if you can’t be a good parent.”

With that, Albus left, leaving behind a stunned Harry Potter.

Scorpius scrambled away from the door, successfully making it across the other side of the hall before Albus emerged. Surprisingly, despite the anger firing through him, when he caught sight of Scorpius ‘acting natural’ he smirked.

“You have headphones on, but you heard every word of that, didn’t you?”

Scorpius pulled his headphones down and ran a shaky hand through his hair. “Yes, I’m really sorry, I shouldn’t have been listening.” He crossed over to Albus quickly, wringing his hands together. Albus placed one of his hands over Scorpius’ to stop the motion.

“Scorp, it’s fine. I don’t mind.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Later. We have potions,” he reminded, tugging slightly on his sleeves to guide him towards the dungeons. He started talking about other unimportant things, and Scorpius was content to listen with the occasional input.

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey, so did you actually make that tiny little dragon?” Albus asked in fading laughter from the previous conversation. They had taken refuge in the Artefact room, sat crossed-legged on the floor with their lunch between them. Albus said he liked coming here sometimes, as not many others ventured this far along the corridor. Plus, he liked seeing what he could find, and it was a mess of things here. It ignited Scorpius’ anxiety a little, until Albus smiled and he felt at ease.

“Yeah, I did,” he said, hanging his head slightly.

“I loved it,” he admitted, taking a bite of his sandwich.

Scorpius lifted his head. “You did?” Albus nodded and Scorpius couldn’t help the smile that was painted across his face.

“You have such a nice smile,” Albus complimented. “Why don’t you smile more often?”

Scorpius shrugged, his smiling fading to a frown. “I have nothing to smile for.”

“Then, I’m going to give you a reason,” he promised, going back to his sandwich.

Scorpius abandoned his own, the hunger fading away. Albus watched with a frown as he placed it back on the foil it came wrapped in. Scorpius stood, walking over to a shelf with little nick-nacks and observing them. The place was filthy. It looked like it hadn’t been cleaned in a while, and the shelf had a thick layer of dust over it. There was one spot, however, clear of dust and Scorpius wondered what was there before.

“Want to talk about it yet?” Scorpius asked, as his gaze lingered over what looked like a Remembrall. He wasn’t watching Albus, but he could feel him shrug.

“Dad’s impossible,” he began. “We fight a lot, especially at home. He’s just never been able to accept that I’m different. I’m not a Potter or a Weasley. I’ve never fit in anywhere with them and dad didn’t like that. When I got sorted, I was pushed out even more. Going home these days,” he paused, as if choosing the right words. Scorpius turned to him, his curiosity of random objects fading. “It’s kind of lonely,” he finished with a sigh.

Scorpius took his seat back on the floor, eyes wide with realisation. “You get lonely, too?”

He lifted his gaze from the floor. “Everyone gets lonely, Scorp.” Scorpius raised his eyebrows, a questioning look saying: _don’t change the subject._ Albus sighed. “Yes. I do. Hogwarts is fine, even if the guys are twats sometimes, but home is hard. Me and dad fight all the time, mum likes to play Switzerland,” – Scorpius scrunched his nose in confusion – “James is never home and there’s Lily. Lily is great, truly. She’s the only person who never treated me differently, but at home she’s the youngest of all the Potter-Weasley clan, and her attention is always divided. So, yeah. Leads to a lonely Albus Potter.”

“I’m sorry,” Scorpius said.

“Do you always apologise for things that aren’t your fault?” He teased, but his heart wasn’t completely in it.

“I didn’t- I mean for not realising.” This time, Albus scrunched his face in confusion. “I never realised your life was harder than you pretended it to be. I guess people only see what you want them to see,” he shrugged.

Albus moved the food out the way, shuffling closer to Scorpius so their knees were touching. He reached over, taking both of Scorpius’ hands in his and smiled. They were so close that Scorpius could smell his aftershave. Scorpius was suddenly very aware of his presence, the closeness sending a wave of anxiety through him.

“What do you want people to see?” Albus asked in a quiet voice, even though they couldn’t be overheard.

“Nothing. I wish I was invisible.” Invisible. Non-existent. Take your pick of the word. Scorpius sometimes wished it was him who died three years ago, not his mother. If it was him, his mum would still be alive, and his dad wouldn’t be in a permanent state of intoxication. Really, the world was better that way.

“I’m glad you’re not,” Albus said. He shuffled around, moving swiftly to a kneeling position rather than his previous crossed-legged. He shuffled even closer – if that was possible – all while not releasing his hands.

“Scorpius, I need to confess something,” he said, voice full of uncertainty. But, Scorpius could barely focus on that because he was so damn close and smelt so damn good. He hummed in response, not trusting his own voice. He wondered if Albus knew the effect he was having on him. “I’ve…” he stopped, sighing. “I’ve kind of, had like, a slight, little, major, kind of -  crush - on you… for a while. And I… yeah,” he finished lamely, silently cursing himself for tripping over the words.

“M-me?” Scorpius stammered. Albus had a crush on him? A crush? Like the kind where your palms get all sweaty whenever they’re around, or your mouth goes dry? Kind of like how Scorpius was feeling right now.

“Yeah… and I never thought I’d be able to tell you. Then, we started talking and you were even better than I previously thought.” Scorpius was staring with his mouth agape. Surely, he was dreaming. Surely, these words were not meant for him. Maybe Albus was practicing for someone else? Maybe, this was all just a cruel joke.

But Albus kept getting closer and Scorpius wasn’t pulling away.

“Albus, I’ve never kis...” he trailed off.

“Me either.”

Then Albus’ lips were on his in a crushing and fleeting kiss. Gone almost as quick as it’d come. So, Scorpius pulled him back by his tie. He forgot about the potential joke Albus was playing on him. If Albus wanted to kiss him, then he would kiss him.

And it was even better the second time. Longer, more passionate. He’d never let himself imagine the feel of Albus’ lips, never let himself get carried away that much, but they were soft and kind and gentle. Scorpius almost felt embarrassed, knowing his own lips were chapped and cracked from how much he chewed on them. But, Albus never seem bothered.

His hands found their way to Scorpius’ cheeks, eventually knotting into his hair. Scorpius’ own hands were on Albus’ waist, tugging gently to pull him closer. Albus obliged, and without breaking their kiss climbed into his lap, pressing their chests together. Scorpius lost himself to Albus, to his warmth and closeness. He never wanted it to end. He wanted to play into this fantasy for as long as possible.

Because surely this was a fantasy. Surely he was dreaming. But, it felt so damn real and he truly wanted to saviour it. He wanted it to last forever –

“Albus, there you are and - ahh! What the fuck? So, you are fucking Malfoy? Jesus, Albus. I thought you had some boundaries!” Albus was off Scorpius in a second the moment Hayden barged into the Artefact room. He clearly knew where to find Albus when he was hiding.

Scorpius wasted no time. He stood quickly, gathering his robes and bag before running out the room, tears stinging his eyes and lips tingling from the kiss. Albus jumped off him like he was a plague. Scorpius wasn’t sure if it was because of Hayden or him. Either way, he’d rather not find out. He was pretty sure he knew the truth anyway.

He was just a game for Albus. He was just a game for everyone.

“Scorpius! Wait!” Albus called after him, but Scorpius ignored him. “Piss off, Hayden!” He heard him shout.

“You have Quidditch practice, Al! You’re late!” He shouted after him. Heavy footsteps were coming up behind Scorpius, who had slowed to a fast-paced walk.

“I said piss off!” Albus shouted back, sounding too close for Scorpius’ liking.

Albus grabbed his arm when he reached him, and Scorpius turned, not meeting his eye for fear of what he’d find there.

“Why'd you run?” He asked, fingers curling around his wrist. “I’m sorry he interrupted. I was quite enjoying myself,” he admitted.

Scorpius looked at him. “You were?”

He nodded. “I thought you were, too.”

“I was. A lot. Sorry, for running.”

“It’s okay. I understand, it’s scary. And Hayden has never been particularly nice to you.” Scorpius shrugged. “I meant what I said,” Albus continued. “About liking you. And if you want, I’d very much like to date you. Properly.”

“Al- I, er-” he sighed. “I- I don’t know.”

“Why not?” He never looked offended. It just goes to show how kind Albus Potter truly is.

“What will people say?”

“I didn’t think you cared about that.”

Scorpius shrugged and sat down on a convenient bench nearby. He ran a shaky hand through his hair, using the other to press down hard on a freshly made cut on his thigh to stop the racing thoughts going through his head. He did care. He cared too much. He wished he didn’t, then maybe they wouldn’t have that much of an effect on him. Maybe if he didn’t then he’d stop hating himself.

“I know what they’ll say.” Scorpius started, wishing he’d never spoke up at all but had gone too far. “’Malfoy corrupts saviour of the wizarding worlds son’, ‘Son of Voldemort uses the Imperius curse to date Albus Potter’, ‘Malfoy uses Harry Potters son to manipulate the world: when will he turn dark like his father?’ ‘Death Eaters son-”

“Okay, I get it,” Albus said, cutting him off from listing the potential headlines that the press would have a field day with. Albus sat down next to him. “But, I don’t care about all of that, not if you don’t.”

“You should,” Scorpius mumbled.

“But, I don’t. And I really like you. And my mum always taught me to fight for the things I really like.” Scorpius guessed Ginny Potter usually used the word ‘love’ in that pep talk. “And I know right now you’re trying to figure out why I like you, because to you it seems impossible despite how sweet, kind and caring you are. I’ll write you a list. Just, give us a chance?”

Scorpius was pretty sure Albus Potter had never begged for a thing in his life. Except him. Because, he was definitely begging. Every nerve in his body was telling him to say no. Telling him to protect his heart and stop this before it goes too far. His brain was telling him it was a joke. That Albus was just playing into his weaknesses. Say no. _No. No. No. No._

“Okay,” he said. Because his mum taught him to follow his heart, and his heart told him to say yes.

Albus beamed, the smile lighting up his eyes in that all-encompassing way. He grabbed his hands and gave them a tight squeeze.

“Can I- would it be okay if I kiss you again?”

Scorpius nodded.

Albus lips were on his again. The same feeling of euphoria from before came rushing back, along with Albus’ warmth and desire. Scorpius melted into him, filled himself up on the kind, lonely boy that was Albus Potter. They were more alike than he thought, and if Albus ever felt lonely again, Scorpius wanted to kiss him until that feeling went away. Like he was doing for him now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THEY KISSED! FINALLY!  
> Thank you for your the lovely comments so far!<3333333333333333
> 
> Art by: Secretlydreamingofgansey (tumblr) THANK YOU!  
> Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
> Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


	6. Ship Goes Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title: Ship Goes Down by Walking On Cars (the song Scorpius sings on the piano)
> 
> Warning: Vivid description of a panic attack towards the end.

The news that Hayden Finnigan-Thomas found Albus Potter snogging Scorpius Malfoy in the Artefact room spread like fiendfyre. By the time dinner came around, the entire school knew. So, Scorpius did what Scorpius does best: he hid.

After their conversation, Albus had been dragged off to Quidditch practice (in the middle of the afternoon on a Friday, but apparently it had been approved of by their head of house because of the upcoming match) and Scorpius was left to his own devices. The whispers behind his back in his classes that afternoon made him flee charms early, hoping Flitwick would be forgiving on his situation at a later date. He didn’t think the older wizard knew he’d even left, Flitwick was getting on a bit in age.

Scorpius, as usual, ended up in the piano room. He closed the door a little too harshly, dropped his bag halfway to the piano before dropping dramatically onto the piano stool, crashing his head on the keys creating a crash of low- and high-pitched sounds, and not in the peaceful way that music erupted from the instrument when he usually played.

He should have known this would happen. Dating Albus Potter – popular kid and pro-dueller, son of the wizarding world’s hero and just about the person _everyone_ wanted to date – was sure to be a mission and a half. Scorpius was beginning to wonder exactly what he was getting himself in for.

Before he let his brain runaway with him – which is what usually happened when he got himself in situations he couldn’t handle – he started playing. Kind, gentle fingers ran elegantly across the keys, emitting a dulcet ambience that clouded the room, shadowing him in peace. The anxiety faded, leaving behind nothing but sweet bliss.

With the new feeling of calm over him, he allowed himself to get lost. And getting lost meant thinking about Albus.

He seemed to be the only thing Scorpius could think of these days.

With his big green eyes that seemed to hold all the secrets of the universe that shone brighter than the sun when he was happy. The emerald pools were captivating, drawing Scorpius in as they twinkled against the tears of laughter forming behind them, and he’d let himself drown if that’s what Albus wanted.

This feeling, this strong, euphoric, strange feeling that enveloped him was blinding. He had never felt anything like it before. He’d read about it, heard songs about it, but could never imagine feeling it. Especially not now when all his life seemed to be was disappointment after disappointment. Albus was a breath of fresh air.

A light in a whole lot of dark.

He said he wanted _him_. Of all people. Who could possibly _want_ Scorpius? It seems bizarre. Not even his own father wanted him most days. His grandmother put up with him. His mum – that was the last time someone hugged him and told him they loved him. Three years ago.

He hadn’t so much as been hugged, hadn’t had a hand on his shoulder, hadn’t had anyone wipe the tears from his face since then.

And then there was Albus.

Albus who was sweet and kind and pure. And it was impossible. It was impossible for someone like Albus to like him. Yet, he here was. He had confessed first. He had kissed Scorpius first. He had begged him to stay and Scorpius agreed, even when every ounce of his being was telling him to run. To escape. To get out of the inevitable heartbreak before it began. To hide and pretend it never happened.

Albus would be better off without him anyway.

But then, Scorpius didn’t want Albus to be without him. No matter how selfish that might have been. He wanted Albus probably as much as Albus wanted him. And it wasn’t some cruel joke and he wasn’t being laughed at. Sure, the school wasn’t being nice but when had they ever been nice?

Never.

With a deep breath, Scorpius started a new song. He was unsure how long he’d been here at this point. Hours probably. He had definitely missed dinner. He could only hope Albus didn’t think he was avoiding _him,_ specifically _._ He was avoiding everyone else.

For the first time that night, Scorpius added lyrics to the tune. He never usually sang when playing the piano, preferring to get lost in the sweet symphony. However, he changed his mind.

_"I made a promise to myself_

_Not to be like anyone else_

_I understand that people may hate me_

_But all of that’s okay with me_

_So take my heart for the weekend,_

_Take my heart for the night._

_And take my heart for the weekend,_

_And take it all through your life."_

“Is that about me?”

“Shit! Holy fuck!” Scorpius jumped, losing the sequence completely and nearly falling off his chair. He heard the soft chuckle of Albus come from behind before he’d managed to compose himself. “Albus!” He scolded.

“Did you just swear?” He laughed, making his way over. Scorpius wasn’t finding any of this funny, he could barely calm his pounding heart. “I have never heard you swear before!” He sat himself down on the stool, his back to the piano. The stool wasn’t that big and Albus may as well have been sitting on his lap.

“It’s not funny,” he grumbled, but he was struggling to keep the amusement from his tone.

“Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, swears like a sailor! Who’d have thought!” Scorpius crossed his arms in a grump, pouting at Albus till he stopped laughing. When he finally calmed down, he pecked Scorpius’ pouted lips.

Scorpius pulled back, shocked at the sudden action. But then, they could do that now. They were dating after all.

“Oh, shit sorry, I probably should have-”

“No, no, Albus,” Scorpius interrupted the oncoming ramble from his friend… boyfriend? Did dating warrant the boyfriend title? Scorpius would have to ask… later. “It just surprised me, that’s all. We can do that now,” Scorpius forced a smile, trying to forget all the horrible comments being whispered around him in class.

Albus didn’t buy it. “Has someone said something to you? Is that why you’re hiding? It’s all people were talking about at dinner. Six people asked me if it were true before I stormed out.”

“I’m not hiding,” Scorpius protested. Another lie. He was hiding.

Albus gave him a _really?_ look, before rolling his eyes and spinning around so he was facing the piano. “I didn’t know you played piano as well,” he casually mentioned, running a single finger over all the keys in a line.

“How did you find me?” Scorpius asked. He'd never told anyone he’d found this room before. It was his room. He’d even fell asleep in here a few times in the past. No teachers nor prefects ventured to this part of the castle. Scorpius felt like it was his own Room of Requirement.

“So you were hiding?” Albus spoke, a hint of amusement to his tone as he played a gentle tune. It had no pattern whatsoever, but there was rarely a sound that emitted from a piano that didn’t sound beautiful.

“Maybe,” he mumbled, playing a small tune that fit in sync with Albus’. Of course, Scorpius’ was an actual song, but it didn’t sound too bad. Albus looked up at him, amazed that he had managed to turn his improvisation into something that sounded good. Scorpius smiled at the look of wonder in his eyes.

Albus stopped playing and turned slightly to face him. His knees nudged against Scorpius’ as they fought against the small space between them. “So, a couple months ago, before we got assigned tutors or whatever, I was in a bit of a grump. My dad told me I couldn’t stay at Hogwarts over Christmas and I wasn’t happy about that, so I went on an angry walk around the castle. I found myself in this corridor, hearing the sounds of a beautiful melody coming from this room. Curiosity got the better of me and I listened outside this room for a while. I never knew it was you in here and just as I was about to enter to see who it was, I tripped over my robes and ungracefully fell to the floor. It must have spooked you because you stopped playing and I ran. I figured it was you after realising how musically inclined you are, and so I came here figuring it’s where you hide.”

“That was you?” Scorpius asked, slight shock taking over. He remembered that night, the overwhelming fear someone had heard him. He never liked playing for other people. He much preferred to stick to himself, he was always better off on his own. Yet, here he was two months later playing to boy that scared him senseless.

Albus nodded shyly, looking almost apologetic. Scorpius didn’t know why he did it, maybe because Albus looked so vulnerable, but he grabbed his face and kissed him with everything he had. He tasted like strawberries and coffee, exactly how he tasted earlier but with an extra ounce of sweetness. Albus melted into him, his lips dancing away with Scorpius’ and both of them getting lost in bliss.

Until Albus put his hand on the piano keys, scaring Scorpius from the kiss. Albus started laughing again, a sweet melodic laugh that put the piano to shame. Scorpius beamed at him, recovering faster from his bout of anxiety this time.

“Ooh!” Albus said when he recovered. It was almost as if Scorpius’ smile reminded him. “I’ve got something for you.” He reached over to his bag and fumbled around in it before pulling out a notebook. From the notebook he tore a piece of paper and handed it to Scorpius. With a fair amount of confusion, Scorpius took it and read the words written in Albus’ messy handwriting.

_Reasons Albus Potter likes Scorpius Malfoy._

  1. _You’re kind_
  2. _You’re totally cute when you get nervous_
  3. _You’re intelligent_
  4. _You’re brave – you face a world you hate every day, that’s admirable._
  5. _You’re totally gorgeous (that hair, those eyes… wow)_
  6. _Your gorgeous smile puts the light of a thousand suns to shame_
  7. _You’re humble_
  8. _You have so much talent (guitar and violin – incredible)_
  9. _You’re strong, even on the days when you don’t feel it_
  10. _You have this ability to lose yourself in music, and it’s beautiful to watch_
  11. _How you can’t sleep unless you’ve listened to that muggle song (Chasing Cars?) three times._
  12. _You always see the best in people._
  13. _Creatures from class seem to LOVE you_
  14. _Also, how are you also good at herbology? (A bore, am I right? Sorry Neville)_
  15. _The crinkles by your eyes on those rare days you give me a smile_
  16. _The fact that you know how I take my coffee even though you’ve never made me one_
  17. _The way your eyes light up when you talk about something you love, it’s rare you let yourself get lost like that, but I like it_
  18. _The way you pronounce the word “boggart"_
  19. _Your face scrunches up when you get annoyed and it’s adorable_
  20. _The fact that you’re the only person who can beat me at Wizards Chess (though, this is also annoying)_
  21. _You’re you. You’ve never tried to hide who you are, that takes guts._
  22. _You taste like Pepper Imps_
  23. _I would move mountains to hear you laugh_
  24. _You put sugar on your Pygmy Puff-O’s and that’s the weirdest thing_
  25. _You like your tea made with the milk first and I don’t drink tea, but I will never understand_
  26. _Your headphones and you are a package deal_



“I’m still adding to it, but I told you I’d make a list,” Albus spoke. Scorpius looked up once he’d finished reading it, a hint of tears in his eyes. Albus was wearing an unsure smile, like he wasn’t sure exactly how Scorpius would react.

“You’re amazing,” Scorpius said, and leaned into kiss him again. He felt Albus smile beneath the kiss and he wrapped his arms around Scorpius to pull him closer. Scorpius went with him, wishing more than anything that he could somehow get closer.

 

* * *

 

 

The Christmas feast was an event that Scorpius _always_ tried to avoid. It was worse than the welcome feast. The welcome feast was okay because there were first years who were just as anxious as he was, and the attention was usually turned to them. The Christmas feast, however, was full of overly happy students, who still loved to talk shit about him.

Yet somehow, he was here, being dragged into the Great Hall by Albus. He had tried to protest, but Albus said he wasn’t going to miss it and he wanted his _boyfriend_ – yes, boyfriend, he said it first, which confirmed Scorpius’ suspicions – at the feast with him. If he hadn’t have dropped the B-word, he was pretty sure he would have been able to resist Albus’ puppy-eyes. A week into their relationship and Albus already had Scorpius wrapped around his little finger.

He kept his trusty headphones around his neck just in case he needed to switch off. He hadn’t been using them as much now he had an actual friend – boyfriend, he reminded himself. Albus’ firm hand in his was a reminder of where he was, and it stopped the anxiety from rising too high.

Rose Granger-Weasley barged his shoulder on her way to the Gryffindor table.

“Piss off, Rose,” Albus shouted after her. She turned and threw a middle finger up at him.

“I shouldn’t be here,” Scorpius mumbled as Albus pulled him towards the Slytherin table. It had only hit Scorpius then he would also have to sit with Albus’ friends. And Hayden Finnigan-Thomas, who outed them to the entire school.

“Why not?” Albus asked, waving at his friends but then sitting a few seats down. Scorpius silently thanked him. “You’re as much a student here as everyone else,” he reminded. Like Scorpius could forget. He couldn’t wait to graduate, and it was still over a year away.

“That’s easy to say when the world doesn’t hate you,” he mumbled, not eager to get into this conversation.

“That’s not true,” he protested, but even Scorpius could tell he didn’t mean it. He was trying to be supportive. It didn’t work. “Why would you think that?”

Scorpius sighed, blinking away the tears. He kept his voice low as he answered, not wanting any eavesdroppers. “Because that’s all I’ve been told my entire life. ‘No, Scorpius, you can’t come to Diagon Alley with me, people will talk.’ ‘No, Scorpius, you can’t see your mum in St Mungos, people will stare and make up rumours.’ ‘No, Scorpius, people will be cruel if you go outside.’ ‘No, Scorpius, you’re a Malfoy and people don’t like that.’” Scorpius accompanied the quotes of his father with dramatic expressions, some that made Albus snicker slightly. At least that was a sense of accomplishment. “It’s like I’m being punished for a crime, and that crime was being born.”

Albus seemed at a loss for words. Scorpius looked away from him, unable to look into his green eyes swimming with pity. He didn’t need pity. He’d made it this far without any.

Albus took his hands, playing with the ends of his fingers. When he spoke, he was looking down at their hands. “We can go, if you want,” he mumbled. Scorpius could tell he didn’t really mean it, that he was just trying to be a good boyfriend. Scorpius decided that he could get through this. For him.

“No,” Scorpius said, as firmly as he dared. Albus looked up, pausing in his playing of Scorpius’ fingers. “You want to stay, we’ll stay. I’ll be fine,” and he forced a smile and prayed his heart would stop pounding soon. Albus beamed at him, and it did the trick.

 

* * *

 

 

Rose Granger-Weasley cornered him in the library the day Christmas Break started. They were due on the train in three hours, and Scorpius decided to get some last-minute revision in, knowing he was all packed. Also, he wanted out of the common room, where the other boys were getting way too rowdy for his liking.

“So, you’re dating my cousin,” she said, popping a bubble of her chewing gum. Lily came running in after her, clearly exasperated. Rose ignored her.

Scorpius swallowed the growing lump in his throat and managed to meet her eye. “It looks that way,” he mumbled.

“I swear to God if you’re playing games, Malfoy, I will-”

“Rose!” Lily snapped, moving so she was standing on Scorpius’ side. “Who Al dates is none of your business. Don’t start pretending you care about him now,” she scolded. Scorpius admired her for her fierceness. If it were him, he’d crumble under Rose’s glare. But then, Lily glared back, and Scorpius saw the ferociousness of Ginny Potter written all over her face. A battle of the cousins, and the younger one was definitely winning.

“I do care about Al,” Rose spat back.

“Yeah, that’s why you stopped talking to him when he got sorted into Slytherin, some cousin you are,” Lily folded her arms. However, it somehow made her look fiercer, rather than the child she should have looked like.

“You should be on my side, Lulu,” Rose protested, using Lily’s childhood nickname as leverage. Lily only rolled her eyes. “You shouldn’t want your big brother being manipulated by Malfoy scum,” she spat, aiming the end at Scorpius. He flinched, then cursed himself for being an anxious mess.

“If you even bothered to get to know Scorpius, you’d know he’s not like that. Al always has been a better judge of character than you.”

Rose rolled her eyes and completely ignored her, turning to Scorpius. “Stay the fuck away from him, Malfoy, I mean it." She leaned in close, her lips a breadth away from his ear and whispered, "you know what I’m capable of." Then, she turned and stormed off, her skirt flowing against the wind due to how fast she was walking. Lily shouted after her, but Rose never responded.

Scorpius let out a breath he didn’t realise he was holding. Everything around him faded to black, the only image was of the hospital wing behind his closed eyelids, the only sound was the high-pitched squeal that was the only thing he could hear as his hearing faded from him.

His breath escaped from him and he struggled to catch it. His heart was pounding against his chest, sure to break free soon enough. There were hands on his shoulders, and someone saying something, but he couldn’t make out who it was or what they were saying.

He only saw black.

He only heard his heart and that damned whirring and it was driving him insane. Scorpius pressed his hands to head, clamping against it and wishing with all his might that it would stop. _Stop. Stop. Stop._

_Breathe._

“… Albus?”

His ears tuned back in to the sound of his boyfriend’s name, though he wasn’t sure who said it.

“Huh?” He managed, his own voice sounding distant.

“Do you want me to get Albus?” They repeated. Scorpius shook his head, and blindly fumbled into his pocket to pull out his music box. He shoved it towards whoever was standing there, then pulled the headphones from around his neck to his head. Whoever it was seemed to get the hint, and pressed play for him.

The quaint melodic sounds filled his ears and he blocked everything else out with ease, letting the music fill him up.

When his heart had finally settled, and his breathing returned to normal, Scorpius opened the eyes. He was in the library, with Lily Potter staring up at him with worried brown eyes, concern written all over her face. She was kneeling in front of him, her hands on his knees. He smiled gratefully at her, pulling the headphones down. She pressed pause on the music box.

“Are you okay?” She asked, getting up and pulling a chair out for her to sit on. Scorpius nodded, unable to form any other words. “You worried me.”

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled.

“Is it about Rose? What did she say?” Scorpius, unable to form words properly, and unwilling to share what triggered his impromptu panic attack, shook his head and she dropped it. “Train leaves in a couple of hours,” she reminded.

“I know. I’m just going to stay, collect myself before seeing Albus.”

“Are you going to tell him?”

Scorpius looked up from the desk to look at her. Her eyes were wide, questioning and telling him everything he already knew: he should tell him. But, he couldn’t. Telling him meant opening up a can of worms he was not ready to face. No, he’d have to deal with this on his own.

Tentatively, he shook his head. Lily sighed, but nodded, almost as though she understood.

Scorpius stayed there till the very last minute he could, and so did Lily. Scorpius wondered if that was a Potter thing, remembering when Albus stayed with him following his last panic attack. When they reached the Grand Staircases, Scorpius thanked her for staying and told her Albus was lucky to have a sister like her. Surprisingly, she hugged him. She wished him goodbye, and Scorpius made a hazy walk to the dungeons.

“Hey,” Albus spoke as he entered the dorms. “Come on, we’ve got to go, train’ll be leaving soon. The other boys already left,” Albus rambled, pulling his trunk off his bed.

Scorpius nodded, but never spoke. He pulled his guitar from under his bed and shrunk it down, putting it into his trunk before closing it and pulling it off the bed. Before he had the chance to walk out, Albus grabbed his arm.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” He asked. Scorpius turned back, wondering if he’d be able to lie to his face.

 _Stay the fuck away from him,_  Rose’s voice echoed through his head.

Scorpius put on his best fake smile. “Nothing,” he lied. “I just wish I could stay here,” not a complete lie. He tried to get his grandmother to let him stay for Christmas every year, but she never allowed it.

Albus, however, seemed to believe it. “Me too, it’ll suck not seeing you,” he smiled, tiptoeing to peck his lips quick. “Come on,” he encouraged. He grabbed his trunk with one hand and Scorpius’ hand with the other. Scorpius let himself be led to the carriages, but he couldn’t get Rose’s words from his head.

_Stay the fuck away from him._

_You know what I’m capable of._

__

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Musical Scorp and Al drawn by: https://secretlydreamingofgansey.tumblr.com/
> 
> The "The way you pronounce the word 'boggart'" is a special shoutout to Bubba Weiler, as I have never heard that word said the way he said it...
> 
> Kudos and comments welcome, you guys have been so adorable and supportive so far! <3  
> Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
> Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


	7. Butterfly Fly Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello and welcome to my favourite chapter!
> 
> Chapter title: Butterfly Fly Away by Miley Cyrus for many reasons, but also the song Scorp sings a bit later on :)

Scorpius let the owl in that had been incessantly tapping at his window with its beak. The snowy owl seemed to almost scowl at him before holding its claw out for Scorpius to take. He did and fed the owl a treat before sending it on its way.

It was the fourth time Albus’ owl had shown up this week.

It was the fourth time Scorpius took the letter and sent it off without a reply.

Maybe he couldn’t stay away from Albus at school, but at home he could at least try a little harder.

He sighed and placed the letter on top of the other three that had arrived this week. He hadn’t read any of them because he knew the urge to reply would be too great. His grandmother was already asking too many questions about the snowy owl, she didn’t need to know Scorpius was using one of theirs to reply often as well.

“Scorpius!” His grandmother called from the sitting room. Scorpius never replied but grabbed his violin and made his way downstairs. He knew what she wanted. It was all she ever wanted from him. She would make him play for hours, until his fingers went numb and eyes grew tired. His back would ache from standing, his feet raw.

He had long learned not to ask when to stop. She would always reply the same thing, in that shrill voice of hers: _I taught you to play, boy, the least you could do is return the favour._

Scorpius wished he'd never asked her to teach him. But, he was seven and obsessed with the bow-stringed instrument and his mother was too sick, so he asked Narcissa and has regretted it ever since. His love for the violin slowly crumpled into hatred. He couldn’t think of a worse instrument to play.

When he entered the sitting room, Narcissa was in her usual armchair with a yarn of knitting wool, a lukewarm tea left on the coffee table with a couple of biscuits that had been left out for too long. Through force of habit – and the fact that she’ll rip his head off should he not do it – he kissed her cheek and smiled brightly, before taking up his spot where he usually played.

“Something quaint, and peaceful,” she ordered.

“Of course, Grandmother,” he replied, ever the courteous gentleman he’d been raised as.

At home, he wasn’t Scorpius, who was clumsy and talented, anxious and friendless. At home, he was Scorpius Malfoy, clever, brooding, polite and confident. The act was exhausting to put on most the time, but the consequences were never worth the slip up.

He started playing, a gentle melody he knew was her favourite. He took a deep breath to stop the shaking of his hands. There was no room for messing up. As he never played violin at school – simply because he now hated playing so much that he only ever did when he had to – he was always a little shaky. He never usually had time to practice a little before his grandmother would drag him down to play for her.

“Where’s father?” He asked, not daring to drop the tune. His grandmother rolled her eyes at the intrusion but decided to answer anyway.

“Out, the pub no doubt,” she drawled. Scorpius never responded but did note it was only ten in the morning.

He hadn’t seen his father in the week he’d been home from school. That was normal. But, it was Christmas Eve, and he usually would stumble in at some point. Scorpius would hear him come home late at night, barely able to stand from the alcohol and drugs in his system. He’d usually pass out in his office and be gone by the time Scorpius rose for breakfast, off for another drink to murder his liver.

He’d been like that since his mother died three years ago. He probably didn’t know how much time had passed since then. Scorpius sat up most nights – sleep was difficult to come by even on a good day – and wondered exactly when his dads drinking would catch up to him, and they’d find him dead in a ditch.

He wasn’t sure how much he would care. He was never around anyway. In a way, he lost both his parents that night.

Scorpius switched tunes, a more upbeat one to stop his thoughts from wondering to those possibilities. Not that he had anything happy to think about these days. Even thoughts of Albus were now tainted with Rose’s words.

She had threatened to kill him - or so it seemed - and Scorpius wasn't sure if she would keep her promise. It had been an accident before - or so he hoped. Though, surely Rose Granger-Weasley, daughter of the Minister for Magic, wouldn’t risk a murder charge just for him? Then, it wasn’t like anyone would notice he’d be dead.

Except for Albus, maybe.

There was a soft knocking at the front door and Scorpius immediately stopped playing. He shared a confused glance with his grandmother, who went to rise, but Scorpius stopped her and went to get the door himself, settling his violin on the sofa. They never usually got visitors. In fact, Scorpius couldn’t remember a time when anyone had showed up at their house – not even through the floo.

He didn’t know what to expect when he opened the front door, but Albus Severus Potter certainly wasn’t it.

But, there he was. Standing with his head hung low, watching as he scuffled his one shoe against the other, his hands entwined between his back. Scorpius gasped slightly, then slipped out and closed the door near shut behind him.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Scorpius asked, hoping beyond all hope his grandmother wouldn’t come to question who was at the door. He should have charmed his violin to keep playing.

“You wasn’t answering my owls and I was worried I’d done something wrong, or that you were mad at me and-”

“You can’t be here,” he spoke, softer this time.

“I’m sorry, I knew you’d be mad, but I wanted to see you,” he whined.

“I’m not mad. I just- ah- things are complicated and-” the whooshing of the floo sounded behind Scorpius. “Fuck,” he swore. “That was my dad, you need to go. Get off the grounds so you can’t be detected, I’ll meet you in fifteen minutes and if I’m not there then I can’t come, and you should go home.” He quickly said, trying to puzzle in his head exactly how he’d get out.

“But…” he tried to protest.

“Please,” Scorpius begged. Albus nodded and turned, running off down the long drive of Malfoy Manor.

Scorpius went back inside, and sure enough was met with his father swaying side to side with a glass of Firewhiskey already in hand. He mumbled something unintelligible to Scorpius that sounded surprisingly like his name.

“Dad,” he spoke, surprised to see him standing there.

His father looked worse than the last time he’d seen him, a few weeks before school started again. He had cut his hair at some point – probably drunk with a blunt knife by the looks of the jagged ends – and it lay messy and greasy atop his head. His cheekbones were more profound, a consequence of the weight lost. There was only so much to do when your body was all alcohol and no food. Though his face had lost weight, his stomach had gained it. His robes were askew – there was once a time when Scorpius never saw him in anything but perfect robes.

“Draco,” his grandmother drawled, causing both Scorpius and his father jump. She had an uncanny ability to sneak up like a ghost. Draco swore as his whiskey glass fell from his hand and it was the first intelligible word he’d spoke since stumbling through the floo. Narcissa fixed it with a flick of her wand, the glass perfect in his shaky hand once again. “Come,” she said to them both.

Draco sent Scorpius a _we’re in trouble_ look like a fourteen-year-old boy would when their teacher tells them off. Scorpius narrowed his eyes at him.

“Actually, grandma, I don’t feel too well. Would it be okay if I go lie down for a while?” He asked, trying to be as polite as possible. His father groaned and stumbled into the sitting room. Scorpius saw him drop onto the same sofa his violin was on, and secretly hoped he would break it.

Narcissa crossed over to him in a ghostly manner and placed a cold hand over his forehead. “You do feel a little warm. Very well,” and she turned and walked into the sitting room.

Oh, how loved he felt.

There was once a time when he’d be babied if he was ill. His mother would cradle him, his father would brew him potions and his grandmother would read to him or play the piano for him. This felt like a cold reaction compared to when he was a child.

He tried not to dwell on it, and instead ran upstairs to his bedroom and closed the door. He placed a pretty firm lock on it, hoping no one would be able to get through. He arranged his bed covers as though he was sleeping and closed the blinds, so a quick peek wouldn’t look too suspicious should his grandmother be able to break the lock. He opened his window wide and climbed out onto the balcony.

He had never – _ever_ – snuck out before. If he was found out, there would be absolutely no doubt his grandmother would reign down on him with a fury of a thousand suns. He tried not to think about that as he cast a cushioning charm and jumped from his balcony.

Just what, exactly, did Albus Potter have over him to make him act so crazy?

Scorpius pocketed his wand once he’d recovered and ran down the drive, hoping his grandmother was too preoccupied with his drunk father to notice him running down there. He made it out the grounds, grabbed Albus and disapparated far away enough from the Manor.

They landed in a muggle town not far from the Manor, a place Scorpius visited when he was younger with his mother one time. He was quite surprised he remembered it well enough to apparate to. Albus clung to him once they’d landed, clearly overcoming a wave of vertigo.

“Sorry,” Scorpius apologised. “Should probably have warned you.” Albus mumbled something about it being fine and quickly recovered.

“Where are we?” He asked. “And wait… you’re sixteen,” he pointed an accusing finger at Scorpius, who couldn’t help but smirk at his adorably cute face.

“Some muggle town,” he grabbed Albus’ hand – the one that was pointing at him – and kissed it gently. “And, I’m seventeen,” he said sheepishly, hanging his head.

“Wait, when?”

“Three days ago,” he shrugged.

“What? Why didn’t I know?”

He shrugged again, “Because I didn’t tell you.” He pulled on Albus’ hand to lead him towards the muggle village, knowing an old café there they could have a drink at. “Did you bring any muggle money?” Scorpius asked to try and deter the conversation.

Albus nodded, but that was all the distraction managed to achieve. “Why not?”

Scorpius shivered, regretting not putting on a coat to battle against the wind. It wasn’t as cold this winter as it had been in the past, but it was still quite bitter. There was no snow, unlike up in the Scottish Highlands. There was never much snow in Wiltshire.

“It’s not a big deal. I haven’t celebrated a birthday since my mum died,” again, he shrugged. It was the best way to show how he was feeling.

Scorpius pushed opened the doorway to the quaint coffee shop, the bells chiming and signalling a new customer. It was quiet, which Scorpius could only assume was because of the time of year. The barista smiled kindly at them, and Scorpius returned the gesture, pulling Albus to a table in the far corner.

“What do you want?” Albus asked. “Tea?”

Scorpius nodded. “I’ll pay you back at school,” he promised.

“No need, my treat. For your birthday,” he rubbed his knuckles with a thumb before taking off for the counter.

Scorpius watched him order, feeling guilty for ignoring him the past week. There was nothing more he wanted to do than talk to him and spend time with him, but he couldn’t do that with Rose’s threat hanging over him. Maybe he should confess what his cousin had said to him. Though, Scorpius couldn’t see that solving anything.

Albus returned with Scorpius’ tea and his coffee, then disappeared back up to the counter. He returned a second later with two plates, a perfectly crafted muffin on each one. He pushed one towards Scorpius – the one with a lit-up candle and smiled dorkily at him.

“Happy birthday,” he smiled, and Scorpius melted. In fact, he worse than melted; he started crying. Big, wet tears streaming down his face shadowing a grin he couldn’t hide. Albus’ face dropped. “I fucked up, didn’t I?”

“No, no, no,” he sobbed, wiping the tears with his hands. “It’s nice.” He stopped wiping his tears and grabbed Albus’ hands over the table when he was sure the tears were done. “I just… I didn’t think anyone cared,” he admitted. He had never thought Albus might want to know his birthday. To him, it was never a big deal. His birthday never warranted big fancy parties. Usually, it was just him, his mother, father and grandmother. Until mum died, then it was only ever just him and that was only because he couldn’t escape from himself.

“I do,” Albus assured, squeezing his hand.

Scorpius’ heart collapsed. It will would make what he was about to do so much harder.

“I-” he started, then stopped. He couldn’t do it. Not when Albus was looking at him like that. He was going to break things of, to satisfy Rose, but he couldn’t. He wouldn’t. If Rose wanted to threaten him then she can. But Scorpius wasn’t ready to give up the only good thing he had in his life.

“I really like you,” Scorpius said, knowing the truth went so much further than a break-up. And the smile that erupted on Albus’ face was completely worth it.

And he could never give that up.

“Are you going to blow your candle out?” He asked, smirking. Scorpius had forgotten it was in front of him. “Make a wish.”

_I wish for everything with Albus to turn out good._

He blew out the candle.

“What did you wish for?” Albus said, leaning across the table with that damned big smile that sent his heart pounding. For the first time in a while, Scorpius found himself smiling back – openly and honestly and utterly uncontrollable.

“That would jinx it,” he said through his smile. Albus rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee. Scorpius may not have had the usual childhood that most had, but his mother always taught him never to tell a wish for then it wouldn’t come true. Though back then he made wishes on shooting stars as they watched the constellations from the roof of their house. That was before she became too sick.

“Fair enough,” Albus said, getting up from his seat to wiggle the chair around the table so he was closer to Scorpius. He sat down, their knees touching, and grabbed his hands. “For what it’s worth, I really like you, too.” He looked at their conjoined hands as he confessed, as he always did when admitting something that would make him vulnerable.

Scorpius removed one his hands to lift Albus’ chin up so he would meet his eyes. Then, he gently leaned in and kissed his lips. It was barely the ghost of kiss, just the mere brushing of lips, but it set his nerve-endings on fire. Albus’ cheeks were ablaze when they pulled away, and Scorpius knew the kiss had the same effect on him.

They spent too long making soppy faces at each other before an older man next to them coughed and muttered something unintelligible, causing them to break their trance with a fit of giggles. When they had finished their muffins and drinks, Albus slipped outside for a moment to make a phone call, coming back in smiling bigger than when he’d left.

“Come on,” he prompted, holding his hand for Scorpius to take. He did, and Albus led him out of the café and walked him down the road. “Where’s the nearest bus stop around here?”

“Bus stop?” Scorpius questioned, stopping in his tracks. “Where are we going?” His voice cracked like he was going through puberty again. Damn his nerves.

“It’s a surprise,” Albus spoke, tugging on his hand. They fell back into a step and Scorpius led them in the direction of the bus stop they’d passed on the way to the café.

“That requires me going on a bus? A bus…? I don’t do buses,” he said, already irked at the idea.

“That’s the rich boy in you talking, I was wondering when I’d get to meet him,” Albus joked, turning to him and winking. Scorpius ignored how adorable he looked when he winked and forced a scowl on his face.

“It’s not, they’re just dirty,” he shuddered.

They got to the bus stop and Albus sat down on one of the seats, ready to wait for the next to show up. He patted the seat next to him and when Scorpius shook his head, he laughed and pulled him down onto his lap. Scorpius let out a soft “oh” which caused Albus to giggle.

Despite Scorpius’ anxiety of the unknown adventure Albus was dragging him on, a part of him was excited. And he was with Albus, which had been doing wonders for his anxiety. That didn’t stop him from clinging to Albus the entire bus journey – well, there were two bus journeys – whilst his heart pounded so hard in his chest it was threatening to cut through his skin and splutter across the floor.

Off the second bus, there was a short walk to their destination, in which Albus still never told him where they were. Scorpius had no idea. For all he knew, Albus could be leading him to his death. Though, he was sure that only happened in movies. It was warmer here than in Wiltshire, so Scorpius could only guess they’d somehow gone further south; he still needed more than the knitted jumper he was wearing.

Albus stopped in front of small house with a beam on his face. It looked homely, with the front garden in perfect tact with a beaten-up bike on the front steps. It was the kind of house Scorpius had always wanted to grow up in, rather than the big, brooding walls of Malfoy Manor.

“Albus,” Scorpius said, unsure. Albus turned to him, and his smile dropped once he read the nerves written over Scorpius’ face. “Is this your house?”

“Erm… Yeah, is this… is this okay?” Scorpius didn’t know if it was okay or not. He had no idea how the people inside were going to react. He had no idea how many of Albus’ family would be there and if any of them would be _Rose._ Then there was the matter of Harry Potter, who never failed to hide his true feelings towards Scorpius. This could go terribly wrong. This could be the literal end of his life.

And what if his father or grandmother found out he was here. It’s bad enough he ran away, let alone if they find him at the Potters’ home. He’d be grounded for life. Actually, something worse would definitely happen, he just wasn’t sure what.

Somehow though, he found himself nodding. Albus smiled and squeezed his hand. Scorpius let himself be led up the pathway, past the perfect garden and the tattered bike and up the steps to the porch.

“MUM?” Albus called as they entered the house, blasted by a sudden warm air. Scorpius followed Albus’ footsteps in kicking his shoes off in the hallway.

“Kitchen, honey!” Albus' mum called back. Albus never let go of his hand, so Scorpius presumed his parents were aware of their relationship.

Albus led him through the living room, which was small considering five people lived there, though it was cosy. The fire was burning and the TV was turned to a low volume, playing what looked like the muggle news. There were pictures on the wall of their family, and the baby one of Albus with a mini guitar caught his eye. Scorpius smiled, wondering exactly when Albus decided he wasn’t cut out for music. He wondered if he’d ever be able to get him back into it.

Scorpius wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he entered the kitchen. A part of him thought the entire Potter-Weasley clan would be there– and that was a hell of a lot. So, when a chorused “SURPRISE!” came from a small group of four, Scorpius was almost relieved. He would have been completely relieved, if the loud greeting hadn’t scared him half to death.

He was sure he looked like a fish out water, mouth half open and a hand over his rapidly beating heart as he tried to process the current situation. He didn’t have much time though, because there were hands on his cheeks and a kind voice introducing herself. “I’m Ginny, Albus’ mum,” she explained, moving her hands from his cheeks to embrace him. Scorpius barely registered it enough to hug her back, but he did briefly.

“Nice to meet you,” he stumbled, getting a brief glance at Albus over her shoulder and feeling himself recover from the shock at his beaming face. Lily was standing next to Albus, hugging him from the side. It was nice to see another face he knew. “Scorpius,” he introduced himself when Ginny pulled away.

“Lovely to meet you,” she smiled, and it never seemed forced, not like adults usual faces when they met him for the first time.

“I’m afraid we never got off to a great start,” came another voice, and then Harry _fucking_ Potter was standing in front of him – the very man who had been bullying him in DADA whenever he guest lectured. “I'm sorry for how I treated you, Scorpius. It was terribly wrong of me. I doubt that you will, but I hope you can forgive me.” To be fair to the man, he did look genuinely apologetic.

“Of course,” Scorpius assured, holding out his hand for Harry to shake. Harry let out a relieved breath before taking his hand and shaking it firmly.

“James Sirius Potter,” another voice, Albus’ older brother, jumped in front of Harry and held his hand out. Scorpius shook it. “I hear you’re quite the musician.”

Scorpius looked at Albus. “Oh, I- erm…”

“Don’t worry, mate, I’m not asking you to whip a guitar out and start playing. Though, if you’re offering, I would love to hear you. I’m quite the guitarist myself,” he said proudly, puffing his chest out.

“Maybe later,” Scorpius said, hoping James wouldn’t hold him to it.

“Stop bugging him, Jamie,” Albus said, coming up next to Scorpius and putting an arm around his waist.

“Fine, fine,” James held his hands up in surrender. “Anyway, happy belated birthday, mate!”

“Is that what all this is?” He asked Albus, eyes alight in wonder. Had Albus actually done all this for _him?_

“You said you hadn’t celebrated a birthday in a while and everyone deserves to celebrate,” he shrugged. “So, we’re doing it the Potter way. Hope you’re good at board games,” he squeezed his waist. Scorpius had to admit he had no idea what Albus was talking about but followed him into the living room along with Lily and James.

Harry and Ginny emerged shortly after with cups of butterbeer for everyone. Scorpius graciously accepted and took a big gulp, if only to try and distract his hands from shaking. He kept his hands around his glass, shaking his leg slightly. Everyone was polite, only asking him a few questions and tried to involve him as much as possible.

The first game they played was called _Operation_ , which Scorpius did not do well in due to his shaking hands. Albus was brilliant, as was Harry, but then there were certain skills that were needed to be an Auror – Scorpius guessed he’d never make the cut. He lost most the games they played, actually. Even _Twister_ , because he was definitely not flexible nor strong enough to keep himself up, and even though his long limbs should have given him an advantage, they only got in the way most the time. Lily ended up accidentally kneeing him in the ribs, which called an end to that game pretty quickly.

It was fun though. In fact, Scorpius didn’t remember the last time – if ever – he’d laughed that much. He also didn’t remember the last time Albus laughed that much. He always said he dreaded going home, but right now he seemed in his element. James was nice, which was a surprise. He’d never interacted with Scorpius whilst he was at school, but he always just assumed he hated him like everyone else.

“Ah, I see you’re all having fun,” a voice came from the floo. None of them had even heard it go off due to the fits of laughter they were all in.

“Hi, mum,” Ginny said, standing up and greeting her mother, taking the cake from her hands and disappearing into the kitchen.

“You must be the birthday boy,” Molly Weasley said to Scorpius when she locked eyes with him.

Scorpius stood and walked over, holding his hand out. “Yes, ma’am, Scorpius Malfoy,” he introduced himself. Albus had talked so much about his grandmother and he knew how much Molly meant to him. If anyone needed to like him, it was her.

She ignored his hand and pulled him in for a hug, giving him a tight squeeze. It took Scorpius by so much surprise that he barely had time to return the hug by the time she pulled away.

“I thought it was a strange request when my daughter floo calls at lunch time asking me to bake a cake for her saying it was important and she needed it as soon as possible. I thought maybe I’d forgotten a grandchild’s birthday or something,” she sat down exasperated. She was still in her apron, stained now with flour and chocolate.

Scorpius took his seat back next to Albus, who pecked his lips upon return.

“Nope, grandma,” he said. “I just wanted Scorp to have a good birthday. Or, late birthday,” he amended.

“Well, I hope you’ve enjoyed yourself, dear.”

“I have, Mrs Weasley. And, thank you for baking the cake, that’s really sweet,” Scorpius spoke. Truly, he was in awe. He had never had so many people be nice to him in one go. A part of him wished he’d met the Potters’ years ago.

“Please, call me Molly,” she stood, patting him on the shoulder.

That was when Ginny emerged with the cake, which now had seventeen lit up candles in it. She walked carefully and placed the cake in front of Scorpius.

“We were going to sing, but decided not to embarrass you,” she said.

“Thank you,” he said, reaching up for his neck. It was the first time since he’d left the Manor that he checked for his headphones and was surprised to find himself feeling somewhat calm at their absence. Usually, he had panic attacks whenever his headphones weren’t around his neck, especially in situations like this, but he was complete at ease with the Potters. He had a small incline it was due to the boy sitting next to him.

“Make a wish,” James reminded, gesturing enthusiastically to the cake. Scorpius wondered if he was more excited about his birthday than Scorpius was. It was probably because it means they could eat cake.

He couldn’t think of a new wish, so for extra luck, he wished for the same one.

_I wish for everything with Albus to turn out good._

He blew out the candles in one breath, hoping that seventeen candles meant seventeen times the luck.

They were cheering around him as Ginny took the cake away. She cut it in the kitchen and brought out a slice for each of them, including Molly who took a slice for her and Arthur before saying her goodbyes and disappearing in the floo. After indulging in their cake and another butterbeer, James disappeared upstairs. He returned moments later with a guitar in his hand and shit-eating grin on his face.

“Care to play for us?” He held the guitar by its neck and held it out to Scorpius.

“I don’t er- not in front of people,” he cough awkwardly, fiddling with his fingers.

“Please! Albus says you’re really good,” James begged.

“Yeah, he does,” Lily encouraged, sending Scorpius her signature smile.

“Fine,” he grabbed the guitar, tuning it to the song he had in mind. The Potters gathered around him, Lily, James and Albus sat crossed legged on the floor, whilst Ginny and Harry shared an armchair. He took a few shaky breaths, and Albus placed a hand on his knee in support. “It’s a song my mum used to sing to me to get me to sleep,” he explained.

He started, plucking gently at the strings before stopping and adjusting the tuning. It was always harder playing someone else’s guitar. He tested it a few times before getting it right and started playing again. He had to play an extra tune in the introduction, fearing too much to sing. He skipped the first verse, feeling too scared but managed to build the courage by the second verse, and it was all because Albus was staring at him and giving him at that _damned_ smile that showed his dimple.

> _"Caterpillar in the tree,_
> 
> _How you wonder who you’ll be_
> 
> _Can’t go far but you can always dream._
> 
> _Wish you may and wish you might,_
> 
> _Don’t you worry, hold on tight,_
> 
> _I promise you there will come a day,_
> 
> _Butterfly fly away."_

He wasn’t sure how he made it through the song without crying. Usually, that song made him sob as thoughts of his mum clouded his memories. Perhaps it was the abundance of Potters sat in front of him. When he came to a finish, they slowly applauded him with looks of wonder.

Scorpius smiled and handed the guitar back to James. “Your turn,” he offered.

And James did have a go, and he was pretty good at guitar. Scorpius was pretty sure he was tone deaf, though. So, if Scorpius knew the song, he chimed in and sang alongside James.

He wasn’t sure how long he spent at the Potters’, except that it was dark out – which means it could be any time between four in the afternoon and seven in the morning due to the winter nights. Scorpius hoped it was closer to the former, though he knew it must have been creeping on. He just hoped it wasn’t past tea time. Then, they would definitely know he had snuck out.

“Come on, then,” Harry stood. “I’ll apparate you back to the Manor, it’s quite a way when you’re new,” he smiled, and Scorpius nodded, secretly hoping he could have stayed and never left. It made leaving home even more appealing.

James and Lily hugged him first, and James told him they should form a band – _“with our good looks and musical talent, we’d be famous in no time”_ – and Lily said she’d see him at school and wished him a happy Christmas. Ginny said her goodbye’s next, and then Harry hung back as Albus approached him.

“Thank you, Albus,” Scorpius said, wrapping his arms around him in the biggest hug. “I’ll probably be murdered once grandmother realises I was gone, but this was totally worth it,” he mumbled into his ear.

“I can’t believe you snuck out. I really am a bad influence on you, aren’t I?”

They pulled away, just enough for them to look at each. “The worst,” Scorpius confirmed and they both chuckled. “I probably won’t be able to owl you, so I guess I’ll see you after Christmas.”

“Seems so far away,” he pouted. Scorpius tucked a piece of stray hair behind Albus’ ear.

“I know.” He leaned in and kissed him, keeping it firm but not getting too carried away – his father was _right there._ Albus kissed him just as enthusiastically, and neither were ready when they pulled away, leaning their foreheads on each other. “Merry Christmas, Albus,” Scorpius whispered into his lips.

“Merry Christmas, Scorp.”

Scorpius was no where near ready for the shouting he’d endure when he got home. Harry apparated him back to the Manor and said his goodbyes, apologising again and wishing him a happy Christmas before disappearing. Scorpius climbed his way back into his room to find it surprisingly intact, but the locking charm had been disabled. Fearing for the worst, he made his way downstairs.

His grandmother was sat in the living room in her usual spot, his father still passed out on the sofa next to his violin. She never screamed or shouted at him. No, she was surprisingly calm as she apprehended him for sneaking out. Scorpius thought that was it.

Until she presented him with his guitar – she must have found it whilst searching his room for him – and she put it down at his feet and sent an _Expulso_ its way. Scorpius' heart broke into a million pieces, much like his guitar. He felt sick. He wanted to scream and cry. That was _his._  He brought it, and she had no right to take that from him.

It was broke and there was no way he’d be able to fix it.

He screamed as she said the words. Had almost bloody dived in front of it. But there it lay, broken at his feet. His grandmother sent him away, so he gathered up the broken pieces and ran up to his room. He locked the door behind him and placed the guitar on his bed. He tried a few fixing spells, but none of them worked.

She never screamed or shouted. She never grounded him or expelled him from the house. She had broken the one thing that was _his_ and his alone. And that was so much worse.

He cried himself to sleep that night, wishing more than anything he never came home.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Beautiful piece of artwork done by: secretlydreamingofgansey (tumblr)
> 
> I hoped you liked this insight into Scorpius' home life, despite how sad it is (again, sorry about Draco. It killed me to write this).
> 
> The response to this has been incredible so far, hope you'll keep it up! Kudos and comments mean the absolute world to me!  
> Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
> Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


	8. Hey 3am

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sick and treating you all to an early update!  
> Warnings: depression, suicidal thoughts/intent, bullying (physical and emotional), panic attacks
> 
> Chapter title: Hey 3am by Olivia Lane  
> Enjoy!

Scorpius was the first one on the train that morning because he had packed all his stuff and left as early as possible. He hadn’t slept properly since the day he celebrated his birthday with Albus, and it was taking what was left of his sanity. His grandmother never talked to him – hadn’t even asked him to play the violin, which he was thankful for because he smashed it in a fit of rage on Christmas day.

Scorpius wasn’t an angry person, he was far from it. He’d seen what anger can do to people and preferred to keep that emotion buried deep. But, something in him had snapped that day. He was staring at it sitting ominously in the corner of his room, like it was mocking him. _You lost your guitar, now you’ll have to enjoy playing me._ It taunted him, laughed at him. Until he picked it up and smashed it to pieces. He then trashed the rest of his room, not quite getting all the anger out. Then he sat in it for hours.

And that was how he spent his Christmas day.

He spent boxing day cleaning up the mess and all the while, his grandmother hadn’t so much as whispered his name. And still hadn’t. So, he packed everything he needed to go back to Hogwarts straight after new year – which he spent in the ballroom playing the piano and wishing his mum was around – and set off for the train station at five in the morning. The actual station didn’t open till six, so he sat waiting around. As soon as the station opened and the wall between nine and ten allowed him through, Scorpius had been there. He handed his luggage off and sat in the first empty compartment he found. He put his headphones on and watched outside as other students began to arrive.

It was heart-breaking to watch. To see them all with their new brooms, or new clothes, or new toys of some kind, showing them off to their friends. All Scorpius got for Christmas that year was a broken guitar and broken violin, both of which he already owned. He had to stop watching after a while, it was too painful. It was mocking, watching everyone be happy when he knew he couldn’t be.

When he saw the Potter-Weasley’s arrive, his attention turned to them. James had come to see off his siblings and was currently in a wrestling match with Albus and they were both laughing. Scorpius liked it when Albus laughed. He was so different. His whole demeanour changed, and he just looked more relaxed, younger. Scorpius hoped he’d be in love with him for a long time.

_Love._

Did he just think that?

Could someone fall in love that fast? Scorpius didn’t know. But, now the thought had crossed his mind he knew he’d never be able to forget it.

_Love._

How does one know when they’re in love? Scorpius certainly had no idea, and he also didn’t have anyone to ask either. What would his mum say? She would say that if it feels right, if the word fits, then it’s probably right.

He looked back at Albus, but he was no longer there. He caught glance of Lily’s fiery red hair before she disappeared from sight and onto the train. Albus must be on here, too. And probably looking for him. He saw Rose and Hugo giving their last hugs to their parents, and Scorpius went cold.

_Stay the fuck away from him._

He couldn’t.

He’d have to tell him. You can’t keep secrets from people you love.

Yeah, love. He was rolling with that now.

A pair of hands gently took his headphones from their place and dropped them around his neck. Scorpius – of course – jumped a mile, though he knew it was Albus. No one else would take that much care. He turned to him and looked into those deep emerald green eyes and knew.

_Love._

It was definitely love.

The loving smile on Albus’ face dropped, and he sat down opposite him. “What’s wrong?”

_Nothing. You’re here now._

“Scorp?”

The longer Scorpius stared at him, stared at those intense eyes, the harder it became to lie. The harder it became to pretend like everything was fine and dandy. And he didn’t want to. He wanted to tell him everything. And he would, as soon as he cried the tears that were forming. He cried so much over the past week that he’d thought he’d run out. But crying to yourself alone in your room isn’t quite the same as crying to someone who cares about you.

Scorpius jumped at him, wrapping his arms around his neck and settling in his lap. When his face was firmly buried between Albus’ neck and his arm, the tears escaped through the dam that had been holding them back.

“Woah,” Albus said softly, and wrapped his arms around him so tight that Scorpius was sure he was going to break. It still wasn’t tight enough.

Albus let him sob until he was ready to pull away. He never pulled away first, he made sure Scorpius made that move in case he wasn’t ready. When he did, he bombarded him with questions, knowing he was now ready to talk but would rather nod numbly if possible.

“What’s going on? Have you slept? Or ate, you look like you’ve lost so much weight and I only saw you like just over a week ago. Did your grandmother find out?”

Scorpius nodded.

“What did she say?”

“She-” he coughed to clear his throat. It had been days since he last spoke to someone. “She smashed my guitar.”

Albus gasped. “It’s completely destroyed?”

“Yeah,” his voice cracked. His rubbed his tired eyes roughly. “I have the broken pieces in my trunk and I don’t even know why.”

“I can try and-”

“No, it’s gone. I’ll have to buy a new one. Grandmother hasn’t spoken to me since. In fact, I haven’t even seen her since it happened. I stayed in my room all holiday. Smashed my violin on Christmas day-”

“Hey, Albus,” a voice interrupted, a voice well trained to send a shiver down Scorpius’ spine. Sure enough, when he looked up, there was Rose in all her glory. Scorpius contained his sigh, and instead averted his gaze to the floor.

“Hey… Rose?” Albus asked, tone uncertain and questioning. “Trying to talk to my boyfriend here,” Albus said in a very obvious get-the-fuck-out tone. Scorpius cringed and looked up just in time to catch her accusing glare.

“Boyfriend?” She questioned, raising an eyebrow in Scorpius direction that very clearly said, _"you haven't done it yet?"_

“Yes, now scoot,” Albus said, waving his hands in a go-away motion. She rolled her eyes at Albus, then shot the dirtiest look she could muster towards Scorpius. If looks could kill, he’d be buried six-feet under. She backed out the carriage and stalked off. Scorpius swallowed his pride.

“There’s something I need to tell you,” he struggled keeping eye contact with Albus.

“Go ahead,” he said, sounding slightly worried. _You should be worried,_ Scorpius thought.

“When I was-” he took a deep breath “-remember in fourth year, when I was in the hospital wing for a week?” Albus nodded. “Someone – er – I… I nearly died. Someone spiked my morning pumpkin juice with something, and it caused my senses to shut down, then it started attacking my internal organs. Pomfrey stopped it before it could go too far, and I managed to recover everything, though it was touch and go for a while.”

Scorpius took another deep breath and Albus took hold of his hands, clearly seeing how Scorpius was struggling. He never spoke, just allowed him to get it all out in his own time.

“Rose came up to me before Christmas and told me to dump you... a-and she threatened me, saying that I know what she’s capable of.” He realised after it wasn’t much of an explanation. That the two events seemed completely unconnected in the way he said them. He watched as Albus’ face turned from perplexed to understanding, the missing puzzle pieces connecting in his head.

His eyes grew wide and his mouth hung open. “Are you saying that Rose did that to you in fourth year?” Scorpius nodded. He half expected Albus to dump him right then and there, scold him for making up shit about his cousin. But, he didn’t. Actually, he seemed to completely understand. “Why wasn’t she caught? How long have you known?”

“She was never caught because I never told anyone. I knew it was her from the beginning, or I had an incline. She never admitted it, but I think she always knew I knew, and when she said that it confirmed it.”

“She’s not getting away with this.” His eyes were alight with fury. “I’ll be damned if I ever let her hurt you again.”

“I don’t think she meant it before, I think it was an accident-”

“I don’t give a damn if it was an accident!” He stood, furiously pacing up and down the small carriage. “She won’t get away with this I swear.”

“Then what are we going to do?” Scorpius retorted, already exasperated. “I’ve been trying to figure it out and I can’t! The only option is to break up and I don’t want to do that.”

“Good, because we’re not doing that.” They shared a smile, a small one. One of recognition and appreciation. Whatever they were going to do, they were going to do it together. Some threat by a sixteen-year-old girl couldn’t break them apart.

“So…?" Scorpius asked. "Because, honestly, Albus, I’m _scared_.”

Albus softened at Scorpius’ vulnerable tone. His sat next to him and placed a loving hand on his arm, the other one on his cheek and kissed him softly.

“I will not let anything happen to you, okay?” His words were so sure, his gaze so intense, that Scorpius found himself believing him. “I’m going to my mum and dad, and Aunt Hermione. They’ll know what to do.” Scorpius wasn’t sure how they would know, but he trusted Albus and Albus trusted them, so he nodded.

 

* * *

 

 

Scorpius successfully avoided Rose until Thursday – two days before he and Albus were due to meet his parents, aunt and uncle in Hogsmeade (a visit arranged by Harry Potter as it wasn’t a Hogsmeade weekend). However, he was positively screwed when she managed to corner him one evening when he was off to play the piano.

He had missed having something to play. As of yet, he hadn’t had the chance to slip away and was really looking forward to losing himself in the music, given the past few weeks he’d had. But, the hope of that was cut short when she popped up on the fourth floor, almost like she’d known where he was going. It was impossible, but here she was.

“Hey, Scorpius,” she greeted, a faraway tone.

“What do you want?”

“I told you I wanted you to leave my cousin alone,” she stepped closer to him and withdrew his wand. Scorpius pulled his own out, feeling like all those duelling lessons with Albus was finally going to pay off. She sent a nonverbal hex his way, but Scorpius managed to block it quick.

“S-so- so what? What’re you gonna do? Hurt your cousins boyfriend?” He figured talking his way out of this wasn’t going to be so effective and was proven right when she sent another spell his way. He put up his shield but fell to the floor. “Hurt the only person Albus has ever really cared about? The first person he’s opened up to?”

It seemed his rambling was only making her angrier.

“Albus doesn’t give a damn about you,” she spat. “How could he? You’re a fucking Malfoy. You’re the scum of the streets. Your own damned mother killed herself just because she was ashamed to call you her son!” That was a rumour Rose made up in their third year, weeks after his mothers death made news. As the details were kept from the press, people let their brains fill in the gaps. That’s where Rose’s led to.

“That's not true,” he protested, but it was weak.

“Albus doesn’t like you. He knows his dad would never approve of a Malfoy and so he started dating one to get back at him,” it was a lie. He knew it was a lie. He had met Mr. Potter and was on better terms with him. He even seemed happy that Albus was happy.

But then what if it was all a lie.

What if the whole thing was a lie? And Albus was using him to get back at his dad for whatever reason. Rose would know right? She was his cousin after all.

Defeated, Scorpius dropped his shield. He was too emotionally worn out for this. He stood up and prepared for the worst. She sent a stinging jinx at his chest, that made him cough and splutter. He expected more, when her small round fist connected with his jaw. It never hurt like most of the physical abuse he’d endured, but his jaw still throbbed, and where he bit his tongue bled. 

“Rose!” Scorpius had never been more happy for Professor Longbottom to appear. Rose jumped back from Scorpius, innocently entwining her hands behind her back and smiling.

“Neville,” she greeted.

“What’s going on?” He looked carefully at Scorpius – at his rumpled school robes and the way he was holding his wand in one hand and clutching his jaw in the other.

“Nothing, Professor,” Scorpius said before Rose had the chance to. She looked at him shocked that he’d come to her defence. “Excuse me,” he said, slipping past them both. He hadn’t expected Professor Longbottom to let him go, but he did. As soon as he was out of sight, Scorpius sprinted back down to the dungeons.

He ran so fast his legs burned and he nearly tripped over his own feet on multiple occassions. He managed to avoid the last dregs of students filtering out of dinner from the Great Hall by cutting through a secret passage he'd found in his second year. It was a faster route to the dungeons, and by the time he arrived his chest burned and wheezed from lack of oxygen, unaided by the tears falling down his pale cheeks. He barely got a second look when he entered the common room - seeing Scorpius Malfoy crying and panicking was a regular sight for the Slytherin's who bothered to notice him. Most of them never did. 

Albus was in the dorm when he arrived, tears streaking his cheeks. He went to question him, but Scorpius threw his bag on his bed and shook his head.

“I can’t,” he sobbed. “I’m sorry,” and those were the hardest words he’d ever spoken, and not just because he could barely breathe. They didn’t mean much on their own, but they weighed more than a thousand tonnes. Albus seemed to understand.

Scorpius ran for the bathroom and locked himself in, sinking down to the floor and letting the sobs out. She had made good promise on her threat now she had attacked him – magically and physically. He was starting to believe there was no solving this – he’d either have to leave Albus, leave school or by some miracle she’d listen to her parents. But, what are the odds of that?

The best option was to leave Albus. At least if they weren’t actually together, they were still here. Together. If he left, then he was leaving Albus for good and not turning back. He needed Albus in his life, even if it was just to know he was sleeping in a bed next to his.

“Scorpius!” Albus pounded on the door the other side. “Scorp! Come on! Don’t shut me out!” It sounded like he was on the verge of tears himself.

Scorpius had never seen him cry. And now he was about to, and it’d be all his fault.

_Breathe, Scorpius. Think. Think._

_You're okay. Just breathe._

“Scorp! Please. Don’t do this! Don’t shut me out, Scorpius!”

_You love him._

_Don't shut him out._

_Breathe._

He did.

"Scorpius, please!" Albus choked on a sob. Scorpius' heart shattered.

He couldn’t.

He couldn’t shut him out.

So, with a wave of his wand, he unlocked the door.

Albus was on him in a second, hugging him and then pulling back when Scorpius winced. He checked him over, clearly noting the bruising jaw (seriously, he bruised like a peach and it was a curse in itself).

“I’m sorry,” Scorpius said as Albus pulled his tie off and started undoing his shirt. “She attacked me, and I panicked, I’m sorry.” Albus looked at him and kissed him on the forehead.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’ve got you, now,” he whispered, before kissing his forehead again. He went back to his shirt and undid it fully, inspecting the red splotches and swelling caused by the stinging hex. Albus seemed to know what to do, because he performed a healing spell which made the swelling go down. He was really talented for his age. Scorpius thought he’d make a much better healer than an Auror – he had the patience.

“It’ll be over soon,” Albus promised, pulling him in and letting Scorpius sob into his chest.

When it seemed Scorpius had exhausted himself, Albus left to get some of his pyjamas for him to change into and turned around when Scorpius did. Once finished, he led Scorpius back into the dorm and tucked him into bed. Just as he was about to turn away, Scorpius grabbed his arm.

“Stay with me?” He asked, voice sounding too quiet in the empty dorm room. He had no idea where Albus’ friends were but was happy for them to stay out as long as possible. Albus nodded softly and changed into his own nightwear. Then, he climbed into Scorpius’ bed, closed the curtains around them, crawled underneath the duvet and wrapped his entire body around Scorpius. Once he was settled, Scorpius’ back to his chest, arms wrapped tight around his waist and legs entwined, Scorpius took one of Albus’ hands and held it tight.

 

* * *

 

 

Scorpius spent all of Friday in bed and he wasn’t proud of it. But, he woke up that morning (after one of the best nights sleep he’d had in a _very_ long time) and had no desire to move. He didn’t think he physically could. His heart was weary, head pounding, and his chest was aching from the stinging hex. Albus tried to get him to move, but he came up at a loss.

Accepting his loss, Albus came back between every lesson to check up on him. He somehow convinced Scorpius to eat lunch and to have a shower, but after, he returned to his previous position. For Scorpius, he was feeling like he had been after his mum died. It was a clouding, all-encompassing darkness in his brain that made him feel weak. He didn’t even _feel_ anything, just empty. Albus didn’t really understand, but neither did Scorpius. He was feeling… okay. Until he woke up that morning.

At the end of the day, Albus didn’t want to leave him alone. So, he took up the same position as the night before and softly hummed to him as Scorpius fell asleep. That nights sleep was much worse. He woke frequently, took hours to fall asleep and lay there most the night awake. It was how he spent most nights, but this was worse because he was scared to wake up Albus. He did a few times, but he seemed fine about it.

It was a relief when morning came.

Scorpius had to shake Albus awake. As it was Saturday – the day they were meeting his parents – he hadn’t bothered to set an alarm _(I’ll be awake on time, Scorp. Promise)._ Scorpius tried not to shove his _told-you-so_ in Albus’ face too much. But, when he did, Albus tackled him and held him down till he apologised.

He was feeling a bit better that morning, and with Albus acting normal around him (and not like he was broken) it made Scorpius feel normal. Albus showered quickly and dressed in a jumper, jeans, a coat and his Slytherin scarf. Scorpius wore something similar, but a hoody rather than a jumper. When he went to put on his scarf, he found that it was actually Albus’. But, the other boy denied all knowledge of this. Scorpius put it on anyway and when he inhaled, there was no doubt that was Albus’ smell written all over it. Scorpius saw the attraction in stealing your significant others’ clothing.

Harry and Ginny met them in the courtyard and walked with them down to Hogsmeade, where they were planning to meet Hermione and Ron in The Three Broomsticks. Scorpius didn’t know exactly what Albus had told his parents about their current predicament, but they didn’t seem all that worried when they talked amicably the entire walk. Albus entertained them mostly, Scorpius was too worried too talk.

He was about to tell a girls’ parents that said girl had threatened – and had tried in the past – to kill him purely because of the name he held and the fact that he loved Albus.

Hermione and Ron were already there when they arrived. Harry and Ginny greeted their long-term best friends first, followed by Albus who got a rough hug and hair ruffle from his uncle and a softer hug from his aunt. When it was Scorpius’ turn, he swallowed his nerves and tried to remember everything his father taught him about meeting new people.

He held his hand out, “Hi, I’m Scorpius,” he smiled his best fake smile.

“My, my, you’re a spitting image of him, aren’t you?” Ron said as he shook Scorpius’ hand.

Scorpius rolled his eyes. “Don’t remind me.” He clapped a hand over his mouth. “I’m sorry, that was rude.” To his surprise, Ron started laughing. Scorpius watched him nervously for a moment, before a smile crept upon his own face. He shared a glance with Albus, who was also smiling.

“I like you, picked a good one, Al, even if he is a Malfoy,” Ron said and winked at him. For some reason, it settled his nerves. Hermione – clearly noticing his distaste for physical affection – shook his hand as well, and her warm smile made him feel a whole lot better. Ron ordered a round of drinks as they settled at the table, and there was a short catch-up conversation before they got down to business.

“So, Albus, Scorpius. There’s clearly a reason why we’ve been summoned, is everything okay?” It was Hermione who turned the attention to the two boys. Before, they were in their own little world, making eyes at each other whilst they waited for the conversation to end. When they were directly addressed, it made Scorpius jump a little, and Albus ran a soothing hand over his thigh.

“Actually, aunt Hermione, it’s about Rose,” Albus started.

“Rosie? My Rosie?” Ron asked, discombobulated.

“We didn’t know what else to do,” Albus expanded, then turned to Scorpius. “Do you want to explain?” Scorpius looked between Ron and Hermione, their inquisitive faces making him feel two feet tall. Then, he looked at Albus and saw the reassurance in his eyes: _I’ll be here the whole time._ With that knowledge, as well as the hand on his thigh, Scorpius nodded.

He took a deep breath before diving into the explanation, starting with what happened in his fourth year to the threat in the library before Christmas, and the recent attack just two days ago. Instead of forcing himself to look at the parents of the girl that had caused him so much anxiety, he looked to the table and fumbled with the butterbeer glass in front of him.

They didn’t interrupt, even when Scorpius took a while to get through his explanation because he couldn’t stop trembling. He wasn’t exactly sure what to expect when he finished and looked up to Hermione and Ron through the fringe of his hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. What he didn’t expect was:

“We’re pulling her from school,” Ron said, tone adamant and unwavering.

“That’s a bit drastic, don’t you think? She needs her education,” Hermione protested, but she didn’t seem completely behind her words. It was evident her point fell flat, and she knew it herself.

“Our daughter is a bully. I thought we raised her better than that,” Scorpius almost felt bad for her. Almost.

“Don’t pull her from school,” Scorpius said, looking between each of the adults.

“But, Scorpius, if she’s causing you this much trouble,” Ginny said, the sentence unfinished as the unspoken words were understood throughout the group.

“I don’t want that. It’s why I never told McGonagall that I knew. I just... want her to leave me alone. Like you said Hermione, she needs her education.” Scorpius never knew why he felt the need to defend her, she had caused him nothing but pain and trouble. But, she was just a kid. Kids make mistakes all the time. His father was proof of that.

“We can home school her,” Ron concluded. “I will not have her threatening Albus’ boyfriend.”

“We could just talk to her,” Hermione tried to reason.

“Have you met our daughter? She’s a mixture of me and you, there’s no way her stubbornness will waver.”

“We can’t just pull her from school. We don’t even know if it’s-” _true._ Hermione cut herself off before the sentenced finished, but everyone knew what she was going to say. She didn’t believe them. Scorpius understood. Why should she believe a Death Eater's son over her own daughter? He should never have come.

“Ex- excuse me,” Scorpius said, standing up from the table and walking towards the bathroom. He needed a break.

 

* * *

 

 

“That’s Draco Malfoy’s kid?” Ron asked, sounding surprised. Albus rolled his eyes. “How did Malfoy produce a kid as kind as him? And as anxious and well… sad,” Ron’s shoulder slouched.

“Scorpius is a great kid,” Ginny agreed, placing an arm on Ron’s shoulder.

"And why hasn't Malfoy come reigning down on the school? I can't imagine he'd take this lightly," Ron added.

Albus shrugged. "He doesn't know." The adults turned to him, questioning looks on their faces. Albus sighed. "I don't know much about his home life, he doesn't talk about it. But, I do know that since Scorpius' mum died - Draco hasn't been sober for three years." Ron reeled back in shock, almost as though someone had slapped him. Harry choked on his butterbeer.

"You're serious?" His father asked. Albus nodded solemnly.

Ron looked back to where Scorpius disappeared to before turning back to Albus. “Is he okay, Al?” 

Albus shrugged, following Ron's previous gaze, hoping that Scorpius was okay. Maybe he should check on him soon. He knew the hidden implications of his uncle's question, and had honestly struggled to answer it for a while now. He and Scorpius were still very new, but he was sure of one thing: Scorpius Malfoy was  _not_ okay. “He doesn’t speak about it much, but I’m pretty sure he has depression. He’s never said, probably doesn’t even know himself, but I’ve watched uncle George enough to know the signs.” Albus slouched as well, wishing more than anything he could take Scorpius’ depression away. It was impossible, he knew, but still he wished.

Ron turned to Hermione. “Look, ‘Mione, I don’t care if it means we have to take Rose out of school, I’m making that kids’ life easier.”

“Rose is just one kid, how much difference would it make?”

“He’s terrified of her,” Albus supplied, answering Hermione’s question. “He spent the whole of Friday in bed, and I think it was partly to avoid her after what happened on Thursday. He gets bullied a lot, yes” – Ron sighed – “but he’s always been her main target.”

“We should try talking to her first,” Hermione said.

“I agree,” Harry butted in. “But then, if nothing comes from it, you have to remove her. Hogwarts is a supposed to be a home, and my guess is that boy doesn’t feel at home there.”

“He doesn’t feel at home anywhere,” Albus mumbled, but Harry caught it. He was about to question him when Scorpius slid back into the booth, apologising for his sudden disappearance. His red-rimmed eyes told Albus all he needed to know: he'd been crying.

“We’re going to talk to her,” Hermione said, directing herself at him.

“And if that doesn’t work, we’ll pull her from school,” Ron added.

Scorpius nodded and sniffed. “Thank you.”

There was a short silence after that where no one knew quite what to say. Albus grabbed Scorpius’ hand and started playing with his fingers, a gesture which seemed to entertain Albus and calm Scorpius. The adults entered a conversation, something between his dad and Hermione about what was happening at the Ministry.

Whilst he played absentmindedly with Scorpius’ nimble fingers, he watched him. Scorpius was staring at their hands, a small smile on his face but a sad look in his eyes. It was the expression he wore quite a lot, like he was trying to be happy – and maybe he was – but the sadness was too overbearing. It made his heart clench. He wanted to kiss away every frown line on his face. He was so young and had been through so much. Albus didn’t think that was very kind.

“…Albus?”

“Hmm?” He looked away from Scorpius to his aunt, who was sipping her butterbeer.

“I said, how are N.E.W.Ts prep?”

“Oh, fine,” he shrugged. “Just school, I guess.”

“And you, Scorpius?” Scorpius looked up, surprised at hearing his name.

“Oh, er, yeah… it’s good. Classes are good, and my defence against the dark arts practical is better because of Albus so, yeah, good,” he babbled.

“And after school, what’s the plan?”

Albus realised he didn’t actually know Scorpius’ plan for after school. They had spoken plenty on Albus’ desire to join the Aurors but had always avoided the subject for himself. He probably didn’t know, not that it was a problem.

“I – er – don’t know,” he broke eye contact with Hermione. He’d never been very good at keeping it anyway.

“Why not?” Ginny asked, but not in a rude way.

Scorpius shrugged, “I… I - I didn’t think I’d make it that far.” All eyes shot to him, and Scorpius seemed to notice the implications of his words as soon as he’d finished. His eyes went wide. “I mean – I – er… I…” he sighed. There was no saving what he said. Albus’ heart broke.

It was silent for a moment, no one sure on what to say for the second time that day.

“Music.” Scorpius finally said, drawing the attention to him again. “I want to do something with music,” he expanded.

“Are you any good?” Ron asked. He only asked to stop Hermione’s inevitable,  _but what about your education?_

“He’s incredible,” Harry spoke, sending a smile and wink in Scorpius’ direction. Albus watched as he smiled, then watched the smile fade. He hadn’t been able to play in weeks, with a bashed-up guitar and violin, and the only time he had chance for the piano being intercepted by Rose.

An idea sparked in Albus.

“Dad, we should probably go back. But, can we stop somewhere first?”

“Sure, Al. Come on, boys,” Harry stood. They each said their goodbye’s, and surprisingly Ron gave Scorpius a hug. He thanked them again and they entered the streets of Hogsmeade.

It was still a bitter day, the January air somehow colder than December. The snow had cleared, but there was still frost and ice scattered about the place. Scorpius gloved his hands before taking one of Albus’, who was thankful for the warmth of the glove as he’d forgotten his own. Thankfully, he had Scorpius’ scarf.

“Where to, Al?” His mum asked, running a gloved hand through his hair.

“Dominic Maestro’s music shop,” he explained. Scorpius looked at him.

“Why?”

“Because, Scorpius, your grandmother smashed your guitar. That thing was your pride and joy. You live for music and right now you can’t play and it’s taking its toll on you. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. So, even if you can’t afford it then I’ll buy it,” his voice was nothing but determined.

“I can’t ask you, too.”

“He’s not,” Harry butted in. “We’re offering.” _We?_

They arrived at the shop and Harry opened the door for them. Scorpius slipped in first, and in seconds he was in his element. The previous conversation forgotten about, he ran towards the guitar section of the shop. It was like watching an excited child in a sweet shop, so happy and bouncy. The sadness in his eyes had disappeared, replaced by a childlike wonder.

He strummed along an acoustic guitar similar to his old one. A smile crept onto his features, small but enlightening. He briefly heard him ask the owner if he could get them down from their display, and he responded with a yes but told him to be careful.

Scorpius picked one from the shelf – a pretty standard acoustic with a green line circling the edge – and sat down where he stood. He plucked at the strings softly, adjusted the tuning, then started again. Albus had heard him play this song before. It was his favourite.

“You got talent, kid,” the shop keeper said, nodding towards him.

Scorpius’ head shot up, the music paused, and his shyness overcome him. “Thanks,” he mumbled, the previous excitement fizzling to anxiety. Albus crossed the room and came up next to him.

“It suits you,” he complimented. Scorpius smiled and stood, placing the guitar back on its stand.

“Not the one?” Ginny asked, coming up behind them. Scorpius’ hand lingered on the neck, and Albus knew he wanted it.

“It’s beautiful but-”

“Brilliant, we’ll take it,” Harry turned to the owner. He nodded and came from behind the counter to pick up the guitar.

“Wait, no, I can afford it, I can’t ask you to do that for me,” Scorpius protested to Harry and Ginny.

“Like I said before, we’re offering. Think of it as a birthday slash Christmas present,” Harry patted him on the shoulder, and Albus was surprised when Scorpius didn’t wince.

“But, I-”

“No buts, I’m not taking no for an answer. Is that the one you want?”

Scorpius looked like he was about to protest, but then his shoulders slumped, and a smile crept upon his face again as he caught sight of the guitar. “Yes, please,” he said, nodding his head as well. The owner started bagging it up, asking all sorts of questions about cases and guitar picks, both of which Scorpius already had. He did pick out a knew strap though, but insisted he buy that one to which Harry agreed.

With his new guitar slung over his back, they headed back up to the castle. Scorpius thanked Harry and Ginny for the guitar fourteen times – Albus counted – on the trip back. And again when they said their goodbye’s. Overall, it seemed like a pretty successful day.

All being well, all this drama with Rose would be sorted fairly soon. Ron had promised he was making the trip up to Hogwarts now to talk some sense into her. Albus hoped it would work, and that she would leave Scorpius alone. After all, she had no reason to care who he dated and definitely no right to threaten them like she did.

When they got back to their dorm, Scorpius pulled Albus onto the bed and shut the curtains. He cast a silencing charm and pulled his guitar around so it rested comfortably in his lap. That night, he fell asleep to Scorpius’ gentle melody and harmonious voice, and he had never felt so content.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you don't mind I switched POV's for a moment there, but I thought it was nice to finally have some insight from Albus on this whole mess.  
> So... only one chapter to go.  
> Thank you to everyone who has been through this journey with me, keep up your wonderful comments! Every single one makes my heart skip a beat.  
> See you next time for the final chapter :)  
> Love you all!  
> (Art by: secretlydreamingofgansey, tumblr) based off the section: Albus looked at him and kissed him on the forehead. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. I’ve got you, now,” he whispered, before kissing his forehead again.  
> Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
> Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


	9. The Little Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This just reached 100 kudos which is incredible! Thank you everyone for your support and feedback, it's been incredible! This is the final chapter so it's time to say goodbye to our favourite boys until next time! I loved writing this and I hope you all loved reading it! Thank you so so so so so so much!!
> 
> Chapter Title: The Little Things by Keywest (the song Scorpius later 'writes' in this chapter)

Scorpius ate in the Great Hall for the first time in three years (minus the Christmas feast). It wasn’t without the crushing anxiety, that’s for sure. He and Albus ate one-handed, so Scorpius could crush Albus’ other hand in his when his anxiety peaked. He knew he was probably hurting him, but Albus never complained and Scorpius tried to loosen his grip. His trusty headphones were a comforting weight around his neck and there was a faint song playing out of them, only audible by Scorpius and Albus. Albus said he didn't mind it, and if it made Scorpius feel better then he would happily sit there and listen. The longer they sat without incidence, the better he was starting to feel.

Generally, people ignored them, the occasional person nodding their heads towards Albus or engaging him in a quick conversation. There was the fair few that weren't so nice, but Scorpius was sure Albus actually _growled_ at a few people who dared sneer or make a snarky comment in their direction. Peter had joined them and was sat on Albus’ other side. He hadn’t said much but had tried involving Scorpius in the conversations. The only problem is, Scorpius didn’t care for Quidditch or girls – which it seemed was all he could talk about.

Lily came and joined them, sitting opposite Albus. She invited Scorpius into a conversation on herbology, which helped ease his anxiety. It was nice knowing he didn’t just have Albus for protection, but Lily too. She had already promised to hex the next person who hurt him. Albus had informed her on the situation with Rose. Even though she was there when Rose threatened him, she never heard the threat.

It was nice. Quiet. The calm before the storm.

Because Rose approached some five minutes later.

Scorpius prepared for a great escape, expecting a hex to be thrown his way despite her cousins being present. However, she didn’t. There was silence for a long time when she approached, Lily and Albus glaring with all the fury of Ginny Potter, whilst Scorpius looked upon with apprehension. He was definitely squeezing Albus’ hand too hard now.

“Do you mind if I sit?” Rose finally squeaked, looking most like a sixteen-year-old vulnerable girl rather than the monster who had threatened him a few weeks ago. Both Lily and Albus looked to Scorpius, obviously awaiting his approval. He surprised himself when he nodded.

“What do you want, Rose?” Albus spat when she took a seat next to Lily.

She looked between the three of them before her eyes settled on Scorpius. Even though they were softer than he’d ever seen them, he still averted his gaze.

“I wanted to apologise and explain myself,” she spoke, and she sounded genuine. Scorpius looked up, finding all his courage and putting it in keeping her eye. “I don’t expect you to forgive me or anything, but I figured this might be a good start.” She took a deep breath, looking nervously between Scorpius and Albus. Albus gaze was one of fury, fire lighting his green eyes. Clearly Scorpius’ doe-eyed confusion and anxiety was easier to look at, because she moved back to him and kept it.

“I’m sorry, Scorpius. For the incident two years ago and the recent one. I’ll be honest, it was meant to be a harmless prank. I had no idea that my dads product would have that sort of effect, I figured it was because it was mixed with pumpkin juice and it had a bad reaction. You were never supposed to end up in the hospital wing. It was supposed to make you go deaf for a few hours and then it would wear off, sort of like a silencing charm. I did come and see you, to make sure you were okay, but you were unconscious, so I left.

“Then, I thought I was done for and that I’d be expelled because I know you know I did it, but you woke up and told everyone you had no idea who did it and I was so confused. I didn’t know why you let me off and I should have been grateful. In fact, I was. Very. I don’t understand how you’re always so kind to everyone because I literally nearly killed you and you never said anything and I think that made me sort of angry.”

“His kindness made you angry?” Albus asked, narrowing his eyes at her. Scorpius squeezed his hand, a small reassurance.

“Sort of, I wanted him to be angry with me and he wasn’t.”

“That doesn’t even make sense!” Albus protested, flailing his free arm dramatically.

“I know. But that’s how I felt. And so I carried on being a bitch, and there’s no excuse for any of that. I was horrible to you; and I don’t know why. I think maybe I was jealous. You were always better than me in classes no matter how much harder I tried. And then you got Albus as well,” she flung her arms dramatically on the table, making a loud noise which made Scorpius jump.

“Rose, we don’t talk because you ditched me when I got sorted into Slytherin. That’s your fault, not Scorpius’. How can you take that out on him as well?” Albus asked.

“I don’t know, I just did. He was a place I could throw my anger at and I’m sorry, truly. I know this doesn’t make up for anything, but I’m sorry for threatening you. I’m sorry for punching you and hexing you. I’m sorry for those things I said about your mum and all the rumours I’ve made up.”

Silence. For a long time. No one knew what to say, least of all Scorpius. In his head, Scorpius was trying to figure out how genuine she was. She seemed it, and he was generally a good judge of character. Scorpius could spot bullshit a mile away, he had been well trained to. It seemed Lily and Albus were keeping quiet to await his response. No one expected what came out.

“You’re jealous?” He asked, incredulous. Surely not. Surely the great Rose Granger-Weasley wouldn’t be jealous of someone like him.

“Yes.”

“Of me?”

“Yes.”

“But, you have no reason to be,” he said, speaking softly. “You’re incredibly smart, you have every boy and girl wrapped around your finger, you have a big family who look after you. I’m literally no one compared to you. I’m nothing,” for some reason, his anger was starting to boil.

All those years of pushing that feeling away, feeling too scared to embrace that emotion for fear of the person who would lie behind it, and it was all bubbling out. She had taunted and teased him, bullied and abused him for years and for what? Because she was jealous?

“Scorpius,” Albus said, squeezing his hand.

“No. So what, I’m better than you in class? So what I have an amazing boyfriend? I have two things that you don’t have. You know what you have that I don’t? A mother who’s alive. A father who cares about you. A sibling who would probably jump through fire for you. Thousands of cousins that will always come to your aid, even Albus if it boiled down to it. You have a future, or at least one that people give a damn about. You have the literal whole world at your hands, and you’re pissed at me because I refused to take that away from you?”

He pulled his hands from Albus’ to rest his head in his hands. He palmed his eyes, hoping it would take away the bubbling tears. He always cried when he was angry, he suspected it was because he didn’t know how to handle his emotions well. The table was stunned at his outburst. He dread to see the look on Albus’ face.

If he did look, he would have seen the face of wonder. Of pride. He had stood up for himself, something no one in this school had ever seen him do before in his entire Hogwarts career. Albus rubbed his back kindly as Scorpius sobbed gently into his hands. His hands trembled, lips quivering and all he wanted to do was disappear. Scorpius reached down for his headphones, feeling the weight of them in his hands and willing his beating heart to calm.

He searched inside him for the source of the anger and pushed it away with all his might. When his racing heart settled, and the tears stopped falling, he wiped the last of the tears away and looked at her. There were a couple of tear stains down her cheeks and Scorpius wondered which part made her cry.

“You bully me to cover up your own insecurities. In a way, I understand that. People –“ he paused, gathering himself – “people look for an escape from their own… _shitty_ lives. I choose music, my father chooses alcohol, Albus chooses to run and you… you choose to bully.”

Rose hung her head. “I know. It’s fucked up.”

“It is fucked up, yeah,” Scorpius agreed. “But… you’re forgiven,” he spoke, much to Albus’ and Lily’s surprise. The latter physically gasped. “You’re Albus’ cousin and I don’t want us to be at odds with each other. If you can promise not to try and kill me again, then I can promise to try and make this work.” He held his free hand out for her to shake.

She eyed it a moment, but eventually took it. “I promise. And I really am sorry.”

Scorpius got up, feeling exhausted from the trip down anxiety lane. Albus stood with him, flinging his bag over his shoulder and Scorpius did his own. They all shared a brief goodbye before Albus and Scorpius walked out. Albus grabbed his hand and squeezed it gently on their trip down to potions class.

“You’re too kind for your own good sometimes,” Albus mused, a proud smile on his lips.

Scorpius shrugged. “We have to be the change we wish to see in the world,” he said. Albus beamed at him.

 

* * *

 

 

It had been a week since their encounter with Rose, and all in all things were going well. She hadn’t tried to interact with them much, but she did sit with them during a DADA study session and it was less tense than it had been previously. Scorpius was slowly getting used to the absence of the looming threat and didn’t feel as anxious being in the same room as her. They didn’t share many classes, but one’s they did were less ominous now.

Other kids were still mean, but Scorpius knew that would never change. They didn’t like him, and he was completely fine with that. They barely bothered him when he was with Albus. Though, Scorpius felt bad for taking Albus away from his friends sometimes, even though Albus told him over and over that he'd much rather spend time with him. Albus stopped speaking to Hayden after he outed them before Christmas, and Hayden stopped speaking back, and therefore never really bothered Scorpius either. Aside from the odd comment in class. The other members of their dorm were fairly nice. Peter - Albus' best friend - tried a lot harder to involve Scorpius, and Jordan sometimes made small talk if it was just the two of them. Sometimes, the random change made Scorpius even more anxious than before. He had no idea how long the act would last and when they'd go back to how they were before.

Scorpius lay on his front, kicking his feet to the tune of the muggle song playing through his headphones as his mind worked on a tricky Ancient rune. Albus was at Quidditch practice and he was left alone in the dorm as the other boys were in the common room avoiding their studies as usual.

At some point during his homework, Albus arrived back. He rubbed Scorpius' hair fondly before disappearing for a shower. When he returned, he took it upon himself to lay his entire body on top of Scorpius’, chest pressed firmly to his back and pinned Scorpius between himself and the mattress. He slithered his hands underneath Scorpius and under his shirt, before laying his head to rest on his back. Scorpius reached up to pull his headphones off and placed the cap on his ink.

“Can I help you?” Scorpius joked, struggling to move under Albus’ weight. The vibration against his back from Albus’ laugh sent shivers down his spine.

“No,” he replied sleepily.

“Are you comfortable?” Scorpius kept his teasing tone.

“I am, actually. You make a surprisingly good mattress,” he joked, kissing between his shoulder blades. “Though, you are wearing far too many clothes,” he said, rubbing his fingers against Scorpius stomach the best his could when they were trapped.

“And how many clothes does a mattress usually wear?”

“A really good one wears none,” despite the flirty undertone, Albus’ voice was still too sleepy to carry through. Scorpius chuckled and reached around to pat his side.

“Up,” he ordered. Albus groaned but lifted himself up by his arms into a planking position. Once free, Scorpius shuffled around so he was on his back and Albus lowered himself down again, so they were chest to chest. “Hey,” Scorpius said, playing gently with his hair, still wet from the shower.

“Hey,” he replied and lazily kissed his lips. Like this, sleepy and warm from the shower, he was Scorpius’ favourite type of Albus. He was always very needy when he was tired, and constantly wanted to cuddle. When Scorpius told Lily this a few days ago, she could hardly believe her surly big brother liked to _cuddle._ She almost didn’t believe him, claiming if there were no pictures then there was no proof. Scorpius promised to prove it to her one day.

Albus settled his head on Scorpius’ chest, wrapping his arms around him. Scorpius kissed the top of his head. Full of warmth and love, with the boy he loved resting gently on his chest, Scorpius couldn’t help the words that fell from his lips next.

“I love you,” he whispered into Albus’ hair. He wanted the world to know, and Albus was his world. And that's enough. Maybe it was too soon to say, but Scorpius felt it and he could no longer hide it. He knew that’s what this was, and he planned on loving Albus for a long, long time. If Albus couldn’t handle that, best to get it over with now before he sunk even deeper.

However, Albus looked at him with a lazy smile on his lips, eyes hooded from oncoming sleep. He kissed his lips firmly, and when he pulled away, he said the best words Scorpius had ever heard. “I love you, too.”

The emotions that ran through him were so overwhelming he nearly started crying: happiness, euphoria, love, wonder, joy, ardour, lust. He loved him. Albus Potter loved Scorpius Malfoy. He beamed. He smiled so wide his cheeks hurt. And when he pulled Albus back down into a kiss, his insides nearly burst with love.

 _This,_ he thought, _this is what happiness feels like._

They cuddled like that for a long time, sharing the occasional kiss. If this was a movie, there would be a really happy and loving song playing in the background. This was no movie, but there was still a song running through Scorpius’ head. Albus eventually fell asleep on his chest, his breathing soft against him. Scorpius played with the end of his hair, wrapping it around his fingers and running a hand through it. 

Eventually, he rolled Albus off him - once he was asleep it was hard to wake him. Scorpius grabbed his blanket and placed it over Albus, making sure he was warm enough. He grabbed a pillow and placed it under his head. Albus curled up into a little ball, contently sleeping and Scorpius couldn't help but kiss his forehead. Scorpius cleared away his Ancient Runes homework and grabbed a spare piece of parchment. He inked his quill and wrote down the words that had popped into his head.

A song.

He hadn’t written one in a long time, or at least not a good one. But then, sitting and staring at his boyfriend who loved him, and he loved, there was an overflowing river of words and emotions and he ached to get them all down. With the silent promise to love Albus as long as he shall live, Scorpius inked the words onto parchment.

> _When you're old and, when your bones feel weak_  
>  _I will sing to you until you fall sleep_  
>  _When it's colder and it gets hard to move_  
>  _I will dance with you right there in the living room_

He thought of the way Albus acted when he thought no one was looking. He liked to hum to himself as he dried his hair because he thought the sound couldn’t be heard over the blow of his wand. He hated when his socks didn’t match and had often been late to class because he couldn’t find a matching pair. He sometimes stole Scorpius’ wand to perform little spells because he liked the feel of his magic. He had never finished a book. Ever. He always gets bored before the ending. When Scorpius played the guitar, he liked to lay on his back with his eyes closed so he could _feel the music._

It’s the little things, Scorpius thought. The way he laughs when he makes a bad joke. The smile on his face when he’d won a Quidditch match. His little kisses late at night when he was tired and sometimes they miss his mouth, but they mean so much more.

He was totally and utterly in love with Albus Potter. It was all he could think about as he jotted down the words and hummed a potential tune whilst his boyfriend lay sleeping beside him.

 

* * *

 

 

“Take your seats boys,” Professor Harper ordered at Albus and Scorpius. Technically, Scorpius was already in his seat, it was Albus who wasn’t. He rolled his eyes at Scorpius and pecked his lips, walking back to his seat.

“Right, your last lesson on Patronuses,” Harry said, who had come back for one more lesson. “We’re going to take off where we finished last time, so yeah, spread out a get practicing. I have a good feeling about today. A few more of you got the Patronus last time and even more produced a non-corporeal, so I wish you all the best. I’ll be coming around a checking up on you all.”

The students spread out around the classroom, pushing chairs and desks aside. Albus abandoned his friends as usual and came to sit with Scorpius at his table.

Scorpius fumbled with his wand, tracing a finger over the carvings he’d put there over the years. The runes where his anxiety had gotten the better of him, the numerals that counted the days since his mums death. He hadn’t carved on it in a while. For one, he started running out of room. Secondly, he hadn’t felt the need.

“How is everything, Scorpius?” He hadn’t expected anyone to talk. Usually Albus knew when he didn’t want a conversation - he called it his _'Scorpius sense'_ , Scorpius called him a dork. So when Harry approached the two of them, his unexpected voice made him jump.

“It’s good, all sorted,” he looked up to him and smiled. Things were sorted. Rose hadn’t even so much as looked at him the wrong way since her apology in the Great Hall a few weeks ago.

“Good. Are we going to try a Patronus today?” It was weird, because every other time Harry had spoken to him in this class had been in contempt, but now he was being friendly. It was a nice change. He wanted his boyfriends dad to like him.

_Boyfriend._

He still wasn’t used to the word. He still didn’t understand how someone like Albus liked him, despite the two lists he kept on his person at all times. But, he did and that was all that mattered. As long as Albus was around, Scorpius was sure to feel love all the time. It never stopped the sadness and anxiety, but there was something else he could feel. Something good.

He didn’t think good things like Albus were possible. Albus was a very bright light that always seemed out of reach, until he kissed him and suddenly he was close. Before Albus, his life was all dark clouds and hailstorms, and then he kissed him, and the clouds opened, and a rainbow appeared over his head.

There were a lot of bad things in his life but Albus was a very,  _very_ good thing.

With a new sense of confidence, Scorpius nodded and stood up. Albus looked at him in shock for a brief moment but he took Scorpius’ outstretched hand.

Albus conjured his own Patronus first, as though he thought Spears might provide Scorpius with a sense of comfort. The wolf sat at his side and nudged Scorpius’ legs, and there was a part of him that knew he could do it too.

He squeezed Albus’ hand and looked at him for a long time, taking in everything about him. His lips and the smile etched on them, his eyes and the love in them, his laughter lines and his dimple. He let himself think of Albus and only Albus. He clouded his entire thoughts. He was the sun shining through Scorpius’ dark clouds and it was refreshing.

That feeling, the feeling of being free, of being happy and in love, he let it fill him up until he felt it in every ounce of his body. Then he squeezed Albus’ hand and drew his wand. To the side of Albus, he flicked his wand. “ _Expecto Patronum_ ,” he said, putting as much love and feeling into the words as possible.

Albus never broke eye contact with him, until a silver raven fluttered against his cheek and rested on his shoulder. Scorpius beamed, watching his Patronus and his boyfriend interact. It seemed only fair, the only reason that Patronus was birthed was because of Albus.

“Hey, little guy,” Albus greeted, petting it. He looked back at Scorpius, and if possible his smile grew. “You did it,” there were tears of joy in his eyes.

Harry clapped Scorpius on the shoulder. “Well done, Scorpius,” he praised before walking off, a proud smile on his face.

“A raven and a wolf,” Scorpius said, in awe at his own creation.

“Huh?” Albus asked.

“Partners in the wild. A raven acts as the wolfs extra set as eyes and ears and the wolf provide them with food. An unlikely pairing, actually described as ‘natures odd couple,” Scorpius explained. “Like you and me, I guess. A Malfoy and a Potter.”

“Who’d have guessed,” Albus mused. The raven vanished as Albus moved towards him and took his other hand, awkwardly due to Scorpius still holding his wand. “You thought of a memory, then?”

Scorpius shook his head. “I thought of you.” He pulled Albus forward, wrapping his arms around his waist and crashing their lips together like Albus’ lips were water and he’d been in the desert for months. He could get drunk on his lips and feeling of lust. He knew, he had known for a while, but that moment solidified it: he would love Albus for the rest of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As usual, art done by: secretlydreamingofgansey (tumblr) I hope you enjoyed her work, I certainly did. It's amazing, so thank you!  
> I'm so sad to be saying goodbye to this fic, musical!Scorp is my favourite headcanon (you can tear it out of my cold dead hands if you don't like it ;') ) and Albus is just a complete sweetheart in this and I love him. I hope I did it justice for you and that those of you who actually stuck with me loved it!  
> I did a complete playlist of all the chapter titles which can be found here: Spotify: Escape, Scorbus playlist  
> Thank you all again for your support! Please let me know your thoughts and feelings, I love to hear them!  
> Twitter: @sunshinescorp  
> Tumblr: sunshinescorpiusmalfoy


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